Stumptown Coffee Christened 'the New Starbucks,' Backlash Begins in 10... 9... 8...

Meet Stumptown Coffee, bastion of the "third wave" of American caffeine, wherein we chuck our totally corporate Starbucks cups and switch to independent cafes and underground dripperies that all buy their beans from one snobby supplier. More »

Live Blogging LOST: Season Six, Episode Seven

It's that time again—time to put a wrench in the smoothness of your day and get all befuddled as you watch tonight's new episode of LOST. Luckily, you'll be in good company. Inside, your open thread for discussion. [Gawker.TV]
#picoftheday

Public, A Dress

[Michelle Obama ambled down her block to the Smithsonian today to donate her inaugural gown by Jason Wu to the museum's collection where it will not be upstage by Aretha Franklin's hat. Image via Getty More »

Kissing in Public Gets You Nothing but Trouble

Everyone is pissed off about people making out in public today. Security officials, Washington Post readers, and Tiger Woods fans are all up in arms. We're close to a government-mandated all-out PDA ban. More »
#twitterati

Heidi Montag's Sad Dream

Heidi Montag dreamed of starring in a pointless remake of an absurd film; Nicholas Carlson imagined nailing Facebook's CEO to the wall; and Perez Hilton envisioned getting his mom back. The Twitterati were in fantasyland. More »

Live Blogging American Idol, Season Nine: Top 8 Girls Perform

It's Tuesday, and we all know what that means... it's time for another American Idol live blog. Tonight, the Top 8 girls will perform live for your votes at 8:00 PM on FOX. Come on in to your open thread! [Gawker.TV]

Jail For Couple Hoarding John Edwards Porn

A judge ordered Andrew Young and his wife Cheri to serve up to 75 days in jail for withholding from the court secret copies of a John Edwards sex tape and unknown "other items" that we don't want to contemplate.

Eric Massa Reveals Tickle Attack to Glenn Beck

Salty Eric Massa did not disappoint on Glenn Beck. Did Massa "grope a male staffer"? Yes, he says. In fact, he jumped on top of him and "tickled him until he couldn't breathe." Because it was his birthday.

Comments of the Day: The Question of Plastic Surgery

Earlier today we wondered aloud why it is that people still get cosmetic surgery. Our question prompted a lot of debate among you the commenters. Here are some highlights. More »

Only Some Conspiracy Theories Welcome at Huffington Post

The Huffington Post removed a 9/11 "Truther" post from former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura. According to their editor's note, "The Huffington Post's editorial policy, laid out in our blogger guidelines, prohibits the promotion and promulgation of conspiracy theories...." Oh, really? More »

Steve Jobs' Threatening Phone Call Revealed

According to Jonathan Schwartz—then Sun's CEO—that's what Steve Jobs told him over the phone after Sun presented Looking Glass, a desktop concept similar to Mac OS X's. After that, Schwartz verbally cockpunched His Steveness and shut him up: [Gizmodo]

Missing Executive Found Dead in New Orleans

Also in bleak news today: Douglas Schantz—the energy executive who disappeared after drinking on Bourbon Street early Friday morning—has been found, dead, in a river. More »

Bleak News of the Day

A janitor at Ohio State University was told that he'd be getting laid off. This morning, he shot two of his supervisors, killing one. Then he killed himself. Since no students were hurt, this incident will be quickly forgotten. [LAT]

Jessica Simpson: It's Time to Say Goodbye

With her latest stab at relevancy—a new single and a VH1 show—Jessica Simpson is yet again being shoved down our collective gullet. It's time for this uninteresting, talentless person to take a hike. Forever! More »

Glenn Beck Welcomes Salty Groping Congressman, Argues With Michelle Malkin

Former Democratic congressman Eric Massa retired from the House because he has cancer and because he was maybe constantly groping male staffers. He will be on Glenn Beck for the full hour today. Michelle Malkin is not happy about that! More »

Let's All Party as America Reverts to its Prehistoric State

The Way We Live Now: Wackily. What is life but risk by another name? We're betting our pensions! We're quitting Wal-Mart and Burger King and wearing crazy bedazzled shoes! We're living in style, for we all shall die! Soon. More »

South Park Reenacts Actual Thing Blackwater Did

The funny thing about this clip (from the upcoming season premiere) of South Park's Eric Cartmen asking for, and receiving, 500 AK-47s, is that it is based on a real thing that Blackwater did in Afghanistan. More »

The Smug Reign of John Krasinski Is About to Begin

We're sorry, but it's coming. Rumor is that the shaggy Office star has the role of Captain America pretty much in the bag. It'd be "a multi-film deal," which means Jim Halpert is about to get big. This is bad. More »
#clipjob

Gawker.TV: The Five Best Videos Ever of the Day

Today at Gawker.TV, we point out the mistakes in "Up in the Air," Anthony Bourdain's a hypocrite about food bloggers, Stephen Colbert draws attention to Obama's recent balls-of-courage, and Andy Richter finally speaks about NBC and the Late Night wars. More »

Sex-Tape Overshares Might Send John Edwards Aide to Jail

A judge might send Andrew Young to jail for lying about his handling of the John Edwards sex tape. It seems the tape was distributed more widely than it should have been, like every sex tape ever. More »

Rush Limbaugh Makes Beautiful Promise

If health care passes, Rush Limbaugh will move to Costa Rica. It's been pointed out that Costa Rica has government-run health care, so we'll just note that cocaine seizures are up more than ten-fold since 2002. (No word on prescriptions.)

Kell on Earth: Cry, Cry Baby

We were too busy attending a screening of Hot Tub Time Machine so we missed the latest episode of Kell on Earth. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was there with her flux capacitor to capture the action.

John Roberts Gets Haircut

In your tribute-laden Tuesday media column: John Roberts in follicle change caper, the Supreme Court hates reporters and death row inmates equally, Rupert Murdoch's birthday, and MSNBC is made of air. More »

Big Ben Photographer Speaks; GCSU Says No Comment

On Thursday, Justin, a senior at GCSU, snapped a photo of Ben Roethlisberger with a young woman. As with a lot of things that night, that photo's now the subject of innuendo and insinuation, some of it, Justin says, misguided. [Deadspin]

Florida Governor Scares Voters With Tale of Hairy-Backed Opponent

Florida governor Charlie Crist must wake up every morning and wonder what happened? He used to be the most popular man in Florida. Now he's telling Greta Von Susteren that his primary opponent gets his back waxed on your dime. More »

Why Do People Keep Getting Plastic Surgery?

This may seem like an easily answered question — people get plastic procedures hoping to look young and beautiful forever — but given a recent spate of cosmetic surgery horrorshows, we increasingly just don't understand why anyone gets "work done."

Dave Letterman's Extortionist to Take a Plea Deal

Sadly, Robert Halderman, the CBS News producer who allegedly tried to blackmail David Letterman out of $2 million, will plead guilty today in exchange for an (extremely light) six month sentence. And the trial would have been so much fun!

NYT Ad Totally Swallows Trash-Talking Blog

Just last month, Gothamist boss Jake Dobkin was slamming the New York Times as uncompetitive, unoriginal, and lazy. Today, the NYT has plastered Gothamist with the most in-your-face wallpaper ad buy we've ever seen. Huh. Let's recall that rant! More »

Gossip Girl: Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?

After a long, long (but not long enough?) winter away, our good friends from the Upper East Side have returned to us, dressed all in black and hunting for ghosts. There is no power in the afterlife. More »

Creepy Apple Wants Control of Your House, Wallet

In addition to to providing your digital music, movies and "print" media, Apple would also like to be the gateway to your home and bank account. Meet the iKey, the invention that lets Steve Jobs mediate your most private spaces.

Lost: The Complete Clip Reel Of Claire's Annoying Cries

Ever since crashing on the Island in 2004, Claire has obsessed over two things: "Chahlie" and her "baybee." Alas, "Chahlie" is dead and her "baybee" is always missing — and that's all she's been talking about for six seasons. [Jezebel]

Keep Calm and Carry On (or Die)

Want to live a long, healthy life? Listen to science! Get off your ass, stop being sexually abused, and never get angry, or have a headache, or—worst of all—have an angry abusive headache. We're watching science, calmly! More »

Annie Leibovitz Finds Another Sucker

Deadbeat celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz has a new debt collector to hide from: Art Capital Group, the artsharking operation to which Leibovitz had mortgaged her homes and photographs, has sold the debt to Colony Capital. More »

Typical: Online Voters Pick Nerdiest NYC Condom Possible

The NYC Department of Health recently held a contest looking for a new package design for their free NYC-brand condoms. Online voters, the worst kind of voters, cast their ballots and chose the second worse one. More »

Right Wing Lunatics to Rule on Church

The Supreme Court has agreed to rule on whether the father of a dead Marine can sue Westboro "God Hates Fags" Baptist Church of Stone Cold Psychos for protesting his son's funeral. Alternately, he could just punch them. [NYT]

Which Married Actress Spent the Oscar After-Party Making Out with a Younger Man?

Maybe her husband didn't mind, since he was home asleep. One Hollywood ex-husband is borrowing cash from his wife, while an ex-wife is blackmailing her famous former spouse. Another actor just pays for sex. That is clearly the easiest solution. More »

Drunk George Clooney Shows His Flask on the Red Carpet

No better way to confirm a rumor than with video proof. A sauced George Clooney saunters down the red carpet with his date for the night—Jack Daniels. And he's not shy to show how wasted he is. [Gawker.TV]

Lady Conflicted over Public Enjoyment of Her Breast Milk

Lori Mason, whose chef husband is currently serving cheese made of her breast milk, has declined requests from strangers to sample her milk, saying "I'm not here to walk people through their psychological problems." Guess what the NEXT SENTENCE is? More »

The Great Idiot Perfume Heist

A third NYPD officer has been arrested for his role in last month's heist of a New Jersey perfume factory. Or, as we prefer to call it, "The Worst Fucking Heist Ever." Don't rogue cops even watch movies? More »
#gossiproundup

Osbourne Breasts for Sale on eBay and Other Nightmares

Sharon fantasizes about a capitalist end for her "waterbed" chest. Lil' Wayne is finally at Rikers, and now we know his real height. Kelly Cutrone saves the world with her vibrator. Tuesday gossip is climactic.
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