Who Dares Replace Hugh Jackman In Steven Soderbergh's Insane, 3-D Cleopatra Musical?

Apparently, Hugh Jackman would prefer his career uncapsized, as Variety notes he has pulled out of Steven Soderbergh's upcoming 3-D musical, Cleo (citing scoffed-at "scheduling conflicts"). So who in Hollywood can replace him?

How Steven Soderbergh Intends to Capsize the Careers of Catherine Zeta-Jones and Hugh Jackman

We'd be lying if we said we weren't excited for Cleo, Steven Soderbergh's upcoming 3-D Cleopatra musical/possible practical joke starring Hugh Jackman and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Now, Soderbergh has revealed insane new details.

'Cleo' Unites A-LIst Talent For World's Finest Batshit 3-D Musical

It's long been rumored that Steven Soderbergh keeps a checklist in his wallet — a tattered index card on which he's scrawled dreams nurtured since before his sex, lies and videotape breakthrough nearly 20 years ago: "win an Oscar," "make a four-hour Socialist biopic," "work with a porn star," and alllll the way at the bottom, "shoot a completely fucked-up 3-D musical version of Cleopatra." Finally, with Catherine Zeta-Jones and Hugh Jackman in talks to star, he might be that much closer to crossing off that last Impossible Dream. More »

Classy Actresses Are Easier to Come By Than HuffPo Contributor Seems to Think

Setting aside the redundant video that uncannily resembles stock news footage shot sometime during the Nixon Adminstration, there's plenty to not get about HuffPo contributor John Farr's recent overview of "smart, classy" actresses' decline in Hollywood. It's not like we can even necessarily argue with his taste for Joan Allen, to whom he ascribes the sense of sophistication, glamour and taste evident in icons like Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly, Vivian Leigh and Greta Garbo: More »

C-Listers Reveal Their Scarily Obsessive Weight Loss Methods

At this point we’re far more informed than we’d like to be when it comes to all the freaky diet methods celebrities use to shed pounds and pull off that whole homeless glam look Colin Farrell’s currently sporting. But while A-listers tend to either keep mum on the subject (like Katie Holmes and Renee Zellweger) or blab endlessly about being “obsessed with potato chips!” and eating “fried food every day!” (Catherine Zeta-Jones and Angelina Jolie), the press-hungry lesser-knowns have yet to learn the rules. In the upcoming issue of TV Guide, ten small-screen stars commit major overshares about how their body obsession is weighing on their mindgrapes. Find out who dropped major pounds just because TMZ published pictures of her “very, very soft” stomach, who only vacuums in heels to tone her calves, and which former “fat baby” admits to working out for over an hour every day, after the jump. More »

Panicked Insiders Fear For Curveless, Merely 9-Stone Catherine Zeta-Jones

Among those sniveling, rodent-like, British sorts who follow the weight fluctuations of actresses who look inarguably healthy, Catherine Zeta-Jones's current "condition" is approaching near-scandal levels of alarm. For example, the Daily Mail today cites a not-harrowing new collection of photos supposedly suggesting Zeta-Jones has suffered a perilous loss of curvature and, well, stone: More »

Catherine Zeta Jones Channels Her Inner Lohan

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Top 10 Best Dressed Oscar Girls Of Yore

For every swan dress there is a fire engine red body-hugger worn by the likes of Catherine Zeta-Jones, or one of those golden sparkle-y things that just melts all over Halle Berry's body. To prove we're not just big meanies when it comes to discussing Oscar outfits of yesterday, we've put together our Top Ten picks for the most exclamatory, drop-dead dresses ever worn on an Oscar red carpet, and even redeemed one member of the Worst Club by placing her at the shiny top of our Best-Dressed cake. More »

"Law Lords" to Adjudicate Dueling Brit Tabloids

For the 2000 wedding of Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, British tabloid OK! had an exclusive contract with the Douglas-Jones enterprise to run dewy styled photos of the proceedings. Rival exclamatory publication Hello! scammed and ran their own photos, resulting in years of litigation between the two tabs. This week, the dispute reached Britain's highest court — a panel of "Law Lords" in the House of Lords. OK! claims business interference, Hello! claims the journalistic right to "spoil" its rival's scoop. Concerning a particularly unflattering Hello! shot of Douglas feeding her wedding cake, Zeta-Jones says, "I don't usually like my husband shoving a spoon down my throat to be photographed." Notice the key phrase "to be photographed" — Douglas can shove a spoon down her throat all he wants, long as it goes undocumented. So amusing that the highest British court has to waste its time with such frivolous celebrity tomfoolery. Silly foreigners! Oh, wait. More »

Hollywood PrivacyWatch: Luke Wilson Four Bud Lights Short Of A Six-Pack

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers. Send yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you saw Kiefer Sutherland lingering for an uncomfortably long time in the deli meats section of your local market. More »

Zeta-Jones: Keep Your Grubby Hands Off My Irresistible, Sexagenarian Husband

In Brazil to promote her new movie The Legend of Zorro, Catherine Zeta-Jones laid down the law when it comes to the daily barrage of lustful, pansexual mummy-fetishists beating a path directly for the contents of eternally youthful husband Michael Douglas' pants: More »

Trade Round-Up: Ben Stiller Unleashes Neurotic Curse On Family Audiences

· With an eye towards cleaning up at next year's holiday box office, Fox signs Ben Stiller for A Night at the Museum, in which Stiller will star as a security guard who "unwittingly unleashes a curse that brings to life the bugs and animals on display." Excuse us. Stiller will star as a twitchy, neurotic, and impotent-rage-prone security guard who "unwittingly unleashes a curse that brings to life the bugs and animals on display." [Variety] More »

Trade Round-Up: WGA Gets A New President

· The WGA West elects Patric Verrone president and installs his entire Writers United slate, giving him "a mandate to follow through on the efforts...to organize animation, cable and the reality TV sector." Translation: There will be many more people to hold up picket signs for the strike in 2007. [Variety] More »

Stars; not SARS!

Us Weekly editor Bonnie Fuller has a suggestion for residents of her hometown Toronto to get them over SARS-related depression: "I think that if the city of Toronto could organize various celebrities to take part in an 'I Love Toronto' campaign, that would be great." We agree. In fact, we'd like to nominate the following celebrities to ship to SARS-infested Toronto: David Gest, Liza Minelli, Catherine Zeta Jones, The Strokes, Barbra Streisand, Melanie Griffith, Geraldo Rivera, Britney Spears, all available Osbournes, Catherine Zeta Jones, Mickey Rourke, Christina Aguilera, Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeta Jones, Katie Couric, Tom Cruise, Nicholas Cage, Lisa Marie Presley, Catherine Zeta Jones, Michael Jackson (fish; barrel), P.Diddy, Michael Moore, Catherine Zeta Jones... Alright that's enough; if we list everyone, we'll be here all day. But don't forget Catherine Zeta Jones. More »

R.I.P. Editor's hard drive

Possible causes of death: More »

CZ Jones v. Clear Channel

The Smoking Gun reports that Catherine Zeta Jones is threatening Clear Channel Worldwide with litigation after several of their websites posted the infamous pictures of her pregnant, topless, and smoking, alleging that some of the sites still have the pics up. It should probably be noted that despite Mrs. Jones' reminder that she and her "cabana boy" spouse Michael Douglas won their lawsuit against Hello! it wasn't on the basis of a privacy violation. They had an exclusive contract with another publication for publication of their wedding photos, and Hello! ruined the exclusivity aspect. UPDATE: from a reader: "There is a magazine (Spanish language called Vanidades) that has a whole spread on the infamous pregnant-smoking picture...April edition. More »

Another new word: Zellweger

From a reader: "[This] has to be the corollary of your new word: Zellweger (v.) letting some random stranger have the luxury of paying for your overpriced restaurant meal. 'Man, I hit it big last night, I met this hot chick. Trouble was, she Zeta Jonesed this huge carbo dinner at Babbo, then she Zellwegered me.'"

Gawker stalker...now with irony!

· "2:45 PM THURSDAY - Anna Wintour zeta-jonesing on a McVeggie at the gaudy, fou-fou McDonald's on 42nd btw 8th & b'way wearing powder blue Old Navy summer dress and beaded Pearl River flip-flops. Pausing in front of Madame Tussaud's mistaken for mannequin by mid-western tourists. Poses for photos. Continues to AMC 25 where she catches matinee showing of Bringing Down The House. Refreshment stand clerk reassigned to soda machine after asking if she'd like butter on popcorn. Laughs (snickers?) inappropriately several times. Lose track of her as she sneaks into screening of What A Girl Wants." More »

Zeta-Jonesing: a new word

I have decided to create a new verb. The verb shall be "Zeta-Jones," meaning "to eat ravenously, as if downing last bowl of Sally Struthers-provided rice in the midst of a famine." Example sentences: "I really, really wanted to be Anna's assistant, but I had Zeta-Jonesed one too many carb-loaded dinners at Babbo to fit into my size zero skirt. Damn you, Mario." Yes? No?

Catherine Zeta Jones: the continuing saga

Hellooooo, Austrailian people who are apparently visiting Gawker from The Age. Hope you like Nicky Hilton, Tina Brown, and all things New York. A clarification: we do not have pictures of Catherine Zeta Jones half-naked, pregnant, and smoking on the site. We never did. We linked to another site that had Catherine Zeta Jones half-naked, pregnant, and smoking, but the link doesn't work anymore. We don't know why the link doesn't work anymore, because it's not our site. So for the people emailing and asking, "Why did you take the images down?": the answer is, we never had them up.

Catherine Zeta Jones link

Re: The Catherine Zeta Jones link mentioned in Page Six this morning: We know the link's dead. We weren't hosting it, so we don't know if it was yanked. I've been told that CZJ has sent us a letter, but Gawker's publisher is on vacation in South America right now, so I haven't seen anything. And that's pretty much all I know. Back to the regularly scheduled program...

Remainders

· Catherine Zeta-Jones "out on the terrace, half-nude, very pregnant, and sucking down a cigarette" while sunbathing. Update: pictures taken down, so link removed. More »

Straight guy walks into a gay bar

Nerve's Grant Stoddard (the straight guy) visits The Hole (the East Village gay bar) to "see how I fare as the object of carnal desire in a gay club." Grant explains his curiosity: "In the past, I've been accused of being a tad fey. First, I have an outrageous British accent, which my colonial friends tend to associate with an innate lust for cock. Second, because I hail from Mother Europe, I tend to wear snugger-fitting pants. I can't help dancing like Molly Ringwald, and I get pedicures (but only in the summer months). After seeing Chicago, I raved about Catherine Zeta-Jones and came across all 'jazz hands' for about a week." More »

Nice things about people

As mentioned earlier, we've decided to change our corporate motto from "if you can't say anything nice about people, start your own weblog" to "everyone is happy, pretty, and smart in their own special way." I know the similarity is confusing, as the differences are quite subtle. On that note—"Random Nice Things About People" by Gawker Editor, Liz Smith: More »

Oscar highlights

If you didn't watch the Oscars, don't worry. (Seriously. Don't.) Choire from East/West documented the evening in excruciating detail. Some highlights: More »

Bonnie Fuller profile

If you can get your hands on a copy of the January issue of Toronto Life, there's an extensive feature-length profile of Us Weekly editor and "evil genius" Bonnie Fuller. Some things you may not know: She refused to tell people her daughter had leukemia for fear that they would think she was using it for professional advancement. The working title of her memoir was From Geek to Oh My Goddess: How to Have the Big Career and the Big Love Life and the Big Family—Even If You Have a Big Loser Complex Inside. She didn't tell her husband about her nose job. More »