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Week in Review
The Week We Bought a Barrel
- Hey, what a miserable week. Like, for the markets. All the markets. We blame the media! Ha ha, just kidding, we blame fatcats (well, some of us blame fatcats). Actually we're kinda tossing blame around pretty freely. But we couldn't do it without you! Nor could we do it with you but these people might.
- We learned how the candidates stay so pretty and how Arianna Huffington stays so unmuddied. (Mostly. Sorta.)
- We learned that you still should probably not seek a career in journalism. But it's a fine time to make that career failure into a positive (for us, not for you).
- Oh, there was a debate, or something. Between Maverick and THAT ONE. We didn't like it because no one addressed the needs of middle class bloggers.
- We took on Hip Hop Weekly! And Julia Allison took on herself!
- What year is it? And which movie is it? One of these maybe?
- Are you smarter than a fifth grade vice presidential candidate? Oh, yeah? Really? Then where is your money, loser?
- Here is your "Friday Night Festival of Failure" topic: New Depression Playlist! There is no Muxtape anymore, and we are too broke to afford "mp3s," so after the jump we are just listing some punny suggestions from our own Gaby, Queen of Law. Add your own!
BREAKING
Dow down, cheating husbands up! ""Since early spring, maybe late winter, there's just been an increase, and I believe it might have something to do with the economy." You don't say. [Daily News; related]
Dow down, cheating husbands up! ""Since early spring, maybe late winter, there's just been an increase, and I believe it might have something to do with the economy." You don't say. [Daily News; related]
Kreepie Kats Klassik: "I Don't Kare If He *Is* a Treasonous Terrorist!! Throw His Huge Throbbing Economic Plan Inside Me!!"
[Yay! It's an olde-timey Kreepie Kats Komic Strip! Today, Jim Behrle's Kartoon Kats konsole Senator McCain on his being a mean old prick]
glaring omissions
'Ask Kathie [Lee] To Take a Minute And Email Me Some Good Info.'
We get a lot of emails every day, and often times we just don't have the time, energy, or patience to respond to them, let alone report them to you, dear readers. So here, on this sun-soaked Friday, let's take a moment after the jump to look at a few of these once lost missives who have now found a home here, in Glaring Omissions. More »
Thoughtful
Lil Wayne's birthday present this year: a suitcase with a million dollars in cash. [The Sun via Idolator]
Lil Wayne's birthday present this year: a suitcase with a million dollars in cash. [The Sun via Idolator]
The Commies
'The Number of Porn Movies Currently Being Shot With Joe Biden Look-Alikes Is Alarming'
Well so, OK, the world is ruined. The concept of "money" no longer exists and a makeshift barter system has sprung up in its place. A soiled wig is worth one subway ride, a clean wig is worth a taxi ride, and a Commie for best comment of the week? Worth it's weight in m.f.'in gold. So praise the six who've received the honor this week after the jump, then plot and scheme as to how to steal it away from them. More »
Good luck with your hell demons
Hipster Silence of the Lambs Project Completed
Earlier this summer, Chinatown Garbage tourister Nate Hill told everyone, plus his dad, about his E.V.E. art project via video: "I know how much you love African art... [it's a] life size female human being that I'm currently sewing together. It should be complete around September." Well gee-boy was he right. The creepy thing—which "contains parts from buffalo, cat, cow, coyote, dog, fish, guinea hen, lobster, octopus, ox, pig, rabbit, shrimp, and squirrel"—is done, right on schedule. In light of this summer's real (Montuak) monsters, man-made beasts are suddenly looking hip for Fall. More »
GAWKER STALKER
Latest Gawker Stalker Sightings
Submit your Sightings: stalker@gawker.com
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Cynthia Nixon
Columbus Ave
Saw Cynthia Nixon walking up Columbus at 78th around 5:30pm. She was walking with a young girl, and was blonder than we're used to seeing on Sex and the City. -
Dennis Rodman
3 Park Ave
Just walked out of 3 Park Ave on 34th and Park with a camera crew and others in tow. -
Bono
Central Park West
Just saw Bono sitting in the front seat of an SUV turning onto 61st from CPW ( or 62nd? Whichever one firs west). The front seat is the only one without tinted window. -
Rachel Zoe
Madison Ave
saw rachel zoe today around madison and 71st at about 1pm while trying to scope out the gossip girl set. not surprisingly, very thin, with hair that could only be described as a mane.
Sumner Redstone
Looks like old Viacom chief Sumner Redstone is the first media mogul to take a significant hit from the present awful economic climate for media companies (Pictured: Viacom's stock chart for the last year). And by "significant hit," we mean "being forced to sell $400 million worth of stock."
More »
The First Media Mogul Casualty
Looks like old Viacom chief Sumner Redstone is the first media mogul to take a significant hit from the present awful economic climate for media companies (Pictured: Viacom's stock chart for the last year). And by "significant hit," we mean "being forced to sell $400 million worth of stock."
More »
Layoffs
Fast Company publisher to lay off 20
FROM VALLEYWAG.COM: Times are tough all over. That's the excuse bosses are now using for cleaning house, making hard decisions they were too timid to execute in bubblier times. More »
Advertising
Coleman Promises to Be Nice to Al Franken For Three Weeks
Minnesota Senator Norm Coleman is a scummy asshole and also, usually, a surprisingly good politician. (You'd kinda have to be to be a New Yorker with a sham marriage to a wannabe Hollywood actress and still win in Minnesota.) He's the "which way is the wind blowing" style of campaigner, and now he's suspending his campaign to... no, sorry, he's "suspending all negative campaign ads" as of today. It's a great little stunt, actually. More »
City Of Ember review
Ember Proves The Only Grown-Up Movies Are Aimed At Kids
FROM IO9.COM: Why are kids' movies the only ones allowed to deal with real grown-up issues? City Of Ember, opening today, reminded me of the allegory-rich Wall-E. Not least because it talked about issues like scarce resources and the cushiony softness of propaganda. More »
Model Behaviors
Vogue's 'Model.Live': "Don't Change, Just Improve."
FROM JEZEBEL.COM: The new Model.Live is sort of a wrap-up of the show season that has just passed — and upon watching it, I realized this entire series has contained no surprises. More »
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"Sarah! You Forgot Your Big Leather Necklace With That Little Wood Piece On It!"
[Sarah Jessica Parker, who is a beautiful woman, sneaking out the backdoor of her son's school today; image via Splash]
Feuds
Casualties Mount in Scott Rudin's 'Reader' Implosion
FROM DEFAMER.COM: If the plot isn't exactly thickening today around Scott Rudin's exit from The Reader, it's at least sustaining a low, convoluted simmer. Still nobody knows for sure the specific reasons for Rudin's move beyond the obvious, routine desire to gut Harvey Weinstein with a letter opener, but looking forw... More »
Freakoutnomics
A Guide to Your Recession-Weekend Oblivion
The weekend looms, but hard times are already upon us. We made a handy guide on how to have fun and fight for your rights to party (and survive!) during the financial freakout. Ready for a rent party? More »
meltdowns
Sequoia's complete gloom-and-doom presentation
FROM VALLEYWAG.COM: Silicon Valley is obsessed with a presentation by Sequoia Capital, the backer of Google, titled "R.I.P. Good Times". The venture capital firm's partners delivered it to its portfolio companies at a special meeting, predicting a long, painful recovery and advocating immediate cost cuts. More »
Magazines
Hip Hop Weekly Plays Good Cop- Bad Cop With Angry Freelancers
Yesterday we brought you the epic, outraged email chain that ensued when Hip Hop Weekly mistakenly sent an invite for a fancy party it was throwing to a list of freelancers who hadn't been paid for their work. It only took one day for them to propose a class-action lawsuit and a protest march. Energetic! And while half of HHW's leadership is apparently trying to calm everyone down, the other half is dealing with the situation by screaming threats over the phone: More »
Ominous predictions
It's Going to Be an Angry Couple Years
The McCain campaign is stirring up something dark and vicious in the national psyche. The economic meltdown that's killing their campaign is also aiding it's rageful death rattle—people are scared, uneasy, and increasingly pissed off. McCain rallies sound this close to turning violent. (Pictured: McCain winces slightly after an audience member calls Obama "a terrorist.") "Responsible" Republicans are weirded out. Irresponsible ones think they can stir the folks up just enough to win this sucker and then we'll all go back to being polite. Fat fucking chance. More »
Ludachristmas come early
Finally, NBC Gives a Grateful Nation New '30 Rock' Footage
FROM DEFAMER.COM: Though her multiple SNL appearances as Sarah Palin have certainly boosted Tina Fey's cultural cachet, true Fey nerds can have their thirst quenched by only one thing: More »
Neel Kashkari
National Money Chief Exposed As Hairless Wharton Grad
Either our nation's elite reporters are all snoozing, or our nation's young new bailout chief Neel Kashkari is a pretty boring guy (likely). But the WSJ today, after an exhaustive investigation, did manage to dig up this nugget: "'Everyone at Goldman has a full head of hair and went to prep school and Dartmouth and played lacrosse. That’s not Neel,' said an investment banker who knew him." Hey, remember Kevin Pollak in The Usual Suspects? "Did you put that together yourself, Einstein? Whattaya, got a team of monkeys working around on the clock on this?" [WSJ]
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Shit Parade
[Laurens Conrad and Bosworth, of "The Hills," in Los Angeles last night; image via WENN]
Thanks Sponsors
Sponsor Shout-out
Thanks to this week's sponsors: 1800 Tequila, Becks, Fancast, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, Little Britain (HBO), MINI, Religulous (Lionsgate), Sebastian Hair Care, The Starter Wife (USA), Starwood Hotels, T-Mobile, TiVo, Zipcar. To become an advertiser, click here.
Advertising
Fox Business Points Out That Jim Cramer Is Wrong About Everything
Fox Business Network is so happy for this whole Wall Street meltdown thing. Why just recently they finally got an audience that's actually big enough to measure! But even if you agree with many economic experts that Fox Business Network is the financial news equivalent of The Learning Annex, you have to admire their plucky use of ads to snipe at CNBC. They have a new one about how wrong Jim Cramer has been about everything involving money! Which is factually true. Here it is: More »
Blaise Zerega
