Crapulent Fox Staffer Flushed At Upfronts?

We're hearing that Fox really drummed up some excitement at the upfronts in New York, but not because they've decided to destabilize the television business with their crazy ideas. The whispers are that a member of their marketing staff got so stinking drunk that he/she really got stinking drunk—and shit him/herself. Then someone took pics of said poopypants, which circulated back to the bosses. Which, of course, led to a speedy dismissal. It's bad enough to crap yourself in a room full of your peers (or so we hear), but if Fox fired the poor staffer, well, that would smell even worse.

UPDATE: Now we hear that it might not be Fox, but a young media buyer not affiliated with a network. Developing...

UPDATE: Spies tell us that it probably was a female Fox staffer, who wound up passed out on a couch before "friends" with a camera came to document the accident. Developing!

UPDATE: According to an email that's been getting a lot of forwarding action, it seems that the incident occurred at the Fox upfront party at NYC restaurant The Boathouse, and the young lady in question was NOT a Fox employee, but an assistant at a media buying company called Mediaedge. She supposedly "passed out, cut her leg open, puked and shit herself" and was hospitalized for the night.

She also reportedly showed up for work the following Monday, so no confirmation on the firing rumor. And no word on the existence of incriminating pictures. The email also contains a canonical list of shit puns in reference to the poor girl's plight (i.e., "shit's gonna hit the fan" "they say she's the shit," etc etc). Since she wasn't a Fox employee, it's highly unlikely they fired her. But maybe they'll reconsider the open bar next year, even if that hurts commercial sales for The Swan 2.

UPDATE: Sources say the poor girl never went back to work, and was asked to resign on Monday following the fireworks show. Now we're kind of sad. We had a vision of her marching into work, head held high, and yelling at the top of her lungs, "Yeah, I crapped my pants! And you would've too if you weren't such a bunch of pussies!" The company's CEO hears this little speech, declares that he "likes the cut of her jib," and promotes her to VP.

Sigh. And still no word on the pictures.

UPDATE: Oh, for the love of God, no. The couch at the scene of the crime was white leather. NOOOOO!