Bulgarian artist Christowhose specialties include "wrapping," "draping," and "surrounding"is planning to wrap Central Park in 26 miles of saffron-colored fabric. We're pretty neutral on the Central Park project but we do have a few suggestions:
Other Things Christo Should WrapCompletely If PossibleAnd Why
1. The Times Square Westin (right). Because it's ugly.
2. "The Hideous Black Cube" at the Astor Place/Lafayette/St. Mark's intersection. (East Villagers note that it's technically called "The Alamo" and not "The Hideous Black Cube." We're not sure what their point is.) Because it's ugly.
3. Any building with the word "Trump" in the title. Self-explanatory.
4. David Gest and Liza Minelli. Because we can.
5. The entire meatpacking district. Because we're thinking that the installation can serve as a sort of saffron-colored containment system for the social climbers oozing out of Lotus.