Dear Santa,

I've been a very good boy this year, as you damn well know. I let Bob make piece-of-shit movies like Halloween: Resurrection and got through the New Yorker interview without demanding or putting Auletta's head on a stick. I may have threatened to beat the living hell out of [delete]*, but I think we can both agree that the little shit had it coming. (He wanted to [delete, delete] and [delete], for God's sake. What am I, Harry Fucking Cohn?)

So let's cut the bullshit. What I Want:

1. re: Gangs of New York that all the morons that aren't going to see it are watching culturally bankrupt crap like Maid in Manhattan. At least then I can tell myself it's a taste issue, and that the unwashed masses have none. To be fair, I should have re-edited GONY. Hell, I should have directed it. I should have edited it and directed it.
2. An Oscar or two for The Hours. I don't think that's unreasonable.
3. A fat kick in the ass for Katzenberg. Sparky owes me. And Eisner, while you're at it, because he deserves it.

Cheers,
Harvey

*deleted by Miramax legal, due to pending lawsuit

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