Here's how the Daily News and the NY Post are playing, excuse me, reporting today's news about the Paris Hilton sex tape recording by her ex-lover Rick Solomon.

· "A pal" describes Hilton parents advice to Paris: "stay Down Under till this blows over." Snicker. [NY Daily News]
· According to the Post, an alleged sex tape viewer describes Paris's on-tape condition as "she is so out of it, you can only see the whites of her eyes." Also it turns out that a week after having sex with Rick Solomon your dignity mysteriously dies. [NY Post]