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To Do This Weekend: Pants Down, Hockey Up

FRIDAY
· He may be wee, but Yeah Yeah Yeahs guitarist Nick Zinner hasn't let that get in the way of his artistic pursuits. Support our very own pint-sized Renaissance man, and head to the opening reception of his photography show at Passerby. Let's just hope he doesn't pull a 'Plaid, summer of 2003' on us. That sucked! (Passerby at Gavin Brown's, 436 W. 15th St., 6-8 p.m.)
· We know you're a Letterman fan, so we won't tell old Dave-o we saw you at Barnes and Noble giggling like a school girl, telling Jay Leno how much you loved his new book for idiot children, If Roast Beef Could Fly.
· Thumbs down: Anthology Film Archives benefit concert with Animal Collective and Black Dice is completely sold out. Thumbs up: The After Party isn't!

SATURDAY
· Join the loose ladies of Sweet Action Magazine for Opaline's Rated X Panty Party. Take your pants off and ogle at slides of hot, naked tardwhores who didn't make it into the magazine.
· Please keep your pants on at the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players concert. Rachel Trachtenberg is only 9, you sicko!
· One time when we were a little high, we weren't sure whether the movie "The Bear" was something we had just dreamed up or whether it really existed. We typed in "bear" on IMDB and nothing came up! We were totally freaked out and all our friends thought we had lost our mind, but it turns out that it really does exist (it's listed as "L'Ours" on IMDB) and it's being screened at the Brooklyn Public Library.

SUNDAY
· Hear "North America's favorite all-hockey band," the Zambonis, sing about, well... hockey tonight at Northsix.
· Snatch up some wacky "new" spring duds ($5-45) at the Screaming Mimi's Indoor Yard Sale (Screaming Mimi's, 382 Lafayette St., 1-7 p.m.).
· That's Nora Ephron's dry cleaner! And that's where Mark Green buys bagels! Put on your Nation baseball cap and join the folks at Radical Walking Tours for the Non-Jerry Seinfeld Upper West Side Tour.


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