Now that a couple of losers have figured out how to get paid for writing weblogs, along comes someone with a smarter scheme: how can I get 15% of that? Today's New Yorker introduces us to Kate Lee, ICM agent and blog enthusiast. Avast, bloggers! Thar be agents, ready for their percentage.

You know, the publishing industry is such a wondrous magical place — like Disneyland, but on ecstasy! — that of course bloggers want in...

For instance: it only takes most publishers 18 to 24 months to publish a book! They also have these innovative ideas of promotion — for instance, as a Published Author, you might be allowed to fly yourself to Chicago and/or Miami to read to an audience of 12 or 13 people at a Barnes and Noble! And when your Kirkus and/or Publisher's Weekly reviews come out, and their wild praise contains one critical note, suddenly the PR people at your publisher are occupied with other projects — and your $20,000 advance doesn't earn out and everyone scratches their heads in puzzlement.

Advertisement

It's the most retarded shell game on earth — and the most technophobic, ass-backwards, financially-dumb-headed industry in the world. Our prediction: first blogger book: $140K advance. Second blogger book: $700K advance. Third blogger book: $15K advance. None earn out, the shark gets jumped, and then it's contract publishing gigs for all, and some God-awful ghost-writing gigs, which results in yet more bitter alcoholic blather on weblogs. Enjoy the hype, little bloggers. Take your advances and buy stock in Halliburton while you can.

Anyway, guess we'll find out when Kate sells her first book. Ah, the hype before the storm.

Wait — doesn't anyone want to see my book proposal? Hello?
A Book In You [New Yorker]