The Story of Poopy Pants

We're not naming names, unless the lady herself wants to come forward. We actually think she's a hero — I can't even watch FOX without wanting to crap myself. Can't imagine what would happen to my own bowels if I attended one of their parties.

The original email, forwarded through what appears to be every office in Manhattan, after the jump.

Men,

Be prepared for one of the funniest stories you will ever hear.. [MAN'S NAME] just told me over the phone and this is completely factual because my roomate [X] was there and witnessed the whole thing..

[WOMAN'S NAME] currently works for some advertising firm and this week they
have the whole industry attends a bunch of these big parties held by each of the major networks because they are trying to attract more sponsors, etc... Let me get this straight (these parties are huge and have tons of celebrites and
stuff) so even the newspapers cover these fiestas..

Anyway, guess who gets so drunk, sh*ts themself and is carried out on a
stretcher from one of the Fox Networks parties in Central Park last
nite.. If you are thinking of our class representative who sends an update on what every geek from [SCHOOL'S NAME] is doing and has an enormous cranium, then you are correct. At least she is making [SCHOOL] proud.

I have also been informed that everyone in the industry has been talking
about this the entire day and [WOMAN'S NAME] is as popular as Ashton Kutcher in Hollywood circles nowadays...

please reply with hilarious statements!!

- [SIG]