To: The pretty girls at Daily Candy
From: The jealous guy at Gawker
Re: A Mad Rhyme For Mad Times

Hey ladies! So look, I know your new owner, former AOL Time Warner biggie Bob Pittman, is dictating editorial and advertorial content left and right over there at Daily Candy — hey, don't be ashamed. I'd totally have my face in Bob's lap for $3.5 million too. (Hell, he could get me for $3.5 hundred.)

But anyway, if anyone over there ever talks to Bob, could you tell him what a "haiku" actually is? Cause your haiku item today is pretty much completely composed of... non-haikus. Thanks! See you at the sample sales!

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P.S. Haikus about "pretty showers of gold" make me nervous, but kind of excited too! Didn't know you kids were so kinky!
Sparkle: A Haiku Story [Daily Candy]
Define: Haiku [Google]