In case you only read Gawker — in which case, you're fucked anyway — you've probably heard that you're suppose to prepare yourself for Massive Amounts of Imminent Terrorism. Like, now. Immediately. Whatever!
More importantly, Gawker's new Special Correspondent on Fashion and Terrorism writes in with BREAKING NEWS:
Why is it that all of the muslim clerics you see on tv look so fucked up? This latest guy in England looks like some kind of stumblebum in the Bowery who even Marlo Thomas would pass by and go "yuck!"....did he lose that eye fighting for a crack pipe or what?
Indeed. Why are radical extremists so ugly and poorly dressed these days? Shouldn't they get their teeth fixed? And can't they be pretty and stylish — you know, like Patty Hearst was?