The Projectionist: Bourne To Be Wild, Etc Etc

The accuracy of our box office predictions is unparalleled in the anonymous Hollywood gossip blog community.

1. The Bourne Supremacy — $40 million
Who would have thought that the rail-thin Matt Damon who reportedly lost 40 pounds to play a smack addict in Courage Under Fire would one day open a huge action movie at the top? Hell, we thought he'd never get the surgery to separate his shoulder from Ben Affleck's tuxedoed armpit. Our sort-of review is here. Warning: Puns on Bourne ("Bourne To Be Wild," "Bourne To Be Number One," etc etc) will be everywhere in Monday's box office reports.

2. I, Robot — $29 million
We often wonder if the robots from this week's second-place movie are merely conceptualizations of what Queer Eye's Fab Five would look like if you stripped the fake flesh from their metal exoskeletons.


3. Spider-Man 2 — $16 million
If you know anyone who hasn't seen Spider-Man 2 yet, please call them immediately. They probably died two weeks ago and their bodies are starting to reek.


4. Catwoman — $15 million
What's really left to say about the coming flop that is Catwoman? Can we just call it The Punisher With Tits In A Rubber Push-Up Bra and call it a day? Also, we ask somebody, anybody to hold down Sharon Stone and shave off that ridiculous spiky hair. Christ, Sharon, you used to be a sex symbol and now you look like our mom's tennis partner.

5. A Cinderella Story — $8 million
When's Hilary Duff's mom going to spring for a pair of fake tits? She obviously has no desire to make her daughter the star she could be.