Where should your dear children Tiffany, Amber, and Skeet live when they arrive in our fair city to attend NYU? Today, resident lush/statistician Andrew Krucoff compares reported crime in the precincts of the Lower East Side, the East Village, and Williamsburg. The answer is clear: install your heinous children in TriBeCa, and keep them away from the "cool" neighborhoods.

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Our question — why is grand larceny (theft of items with value greater than, we believe, $500) so huge in the East Village? Is it the blinged-out gold necklace-snatching quotient?

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