We try to do more for our readers than tell them who the latest and greatest skanks are. Hell, we'll stoop to service journalism at the drop of the hat. A reader writes:

"As a fresh young thing of seventeen, but who passes for a few years older every time, I was wondering if there are any gay bars in the city which are notorious for not carding?"

Ah. Exactly the type of reader we always imagined we had: gay, underage, and thirsty.

Well, Fresh Young Thing, we would never tell you the names of bars to sneak into — that's illegal, after all, and we only do legal 'round these parts.


Now that we finished with the disclaimer, we did a little research with our friends at New York Bartenders & Patrons, and while they certainly don't condone underage drinking either, they thought maybe you should avoid traditional bars altogether. Lowbrow and relaxed does not guarantee you an easy entry. Rather, check out the lounge scene: you know, those pseudo-upscale places with expensive couches and trendy lighting? We hear that those fancy-looking places are a little easier to get into and just might have the sugar daddy you're looking for. The Bloomberg/Giuliani nightlife crackdown of recent years has kept heat on the more fun gnarly bars at the edge of town, making hangouts that used to resemble high school into dull wastelands. (Though you could work the East Village strip: Dick's on 2nd and 12th, the Phoenix at 13th and A, and The Cock at 12th and A.)

But really, you're asking the wrong people. We spend our entire lives avoiding the places you can get in. And you, probably. That being said, hell, we all had a fake ID once. Of course, I was working as a bartender at the time...


So where, if you were legal, would you go? We can see you at the Starlight Lounge, particularly on Mondays if Julian Fleisher is performing. Down the road, Pyramid Club might be more accessible — at least, everyone there certainly looks 12. Urge has plasma screens, and you know that equals upscale, so it might be worth popping in. If you're ready to endure the Meatpacking District, there's something on every corner to suit you. We'd suggest Hell, which, for your purposes, is anything but, though we think the name suits the crowd quite well. At any rate, you should find something with both class and ass in a matter of minutes.