We're not quite sure what's gotten into us, but we just feel so compelled to help with the burning issues our readers deal with. A recent cry for help:

"Is one supposed to tip the friendly pot delivery man like a pizza guy? What I mean, of course, is, hypothetically, if this type of quasi-corporatized service were to exist, and one has to shell out a hundred bucks and wait two hours — not that it's not worth every penny — should you still kick the middle man 15-20% for his time?"

Heh, if drug delivery "were to exist"? How cute!

The question, of course, presents a moral and ethical dilemma — no, not about the drug use, we totally condone getting fucked up on anything and everything — but around the issue of who in our lives deserves tips. Seriously: the service class can eat us. If they didn't like being poor, why would they have those shitty jobs?

A hundred years ago, the kids at Starbucks would have been our maids and valets. Manhattan still operates on a semi-feudal system — and let's not mess with the shit that works. Taxi drivers, waitrons, bartenders, and the doormen and super: tip 'em, and tip 'em well.

But let's just say we don't tip at Starbucks very often.

Just because your drug mule took the time to walk up 5 flights of stairs to give you your stash does not mean he deserves a little extra something. Remember, he's pocketing at least 10% of those already-exorbitant fees you're paying. We think drugs are expensive enough as is. Naturally, if s/he goes above and beyond the call of duty, tip 'em off. Half the time they're probably smoking your pot anyway, don't forget.

Another argument against tipping: rehab isn't cheap either. You should certainly put a little something aside each month for that.

On a final, tender note, there's one exception worth mentioning: the pot-brownie delivery girl. Chances are she made those brownies herself, and she deserves an extra $5 bucks for her elbow grease.

Now, we also got a little expert advice, which we always appreciate:

Hey - A quick note on tipping the delivery guy/girl. Most delivery people get a flat fee for a days work. Tips aren't required but are always appreciated. When I used to deliver I'd come home with all sorts of random things given to me by clients - cuban cigars, cookies, books, clothes, etc. At the very least you should offer your delivery person a glass of water or use of your bathroom, since they've been on their feet all day. Just hide the good pills first.

So true — a little water is only fair, particularly in your East Village walk-up.

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