We imagine that somewhere deep underground there's a damp factory in which Ronsons are bred, only to be released into the fake-celebrity mainstream where they multiply their worth by appearing greasy and vapid at all times. Then they get to be DJs and designers and run around doing famous-y things. Why not observe the Ronson phenomenon tonight by wishing the bots a happy birthday? A beloved tipster points us in the right direction:
Crash the Ronson sisters' birthday bash tonight at the Gramercy Park Hotel. When they say you're not on the list, just tell them you're one of Damon Dash's +50.