Fall is our favorite time of year for one reason: big, fat fashion magazines hit the stands like Naomi Campbell's hand on a maid's face. In the race for ad dollars, there's no stopping magazine publishers from strength-testing the limits of your local mailperson with forest-killing issues. Vogue pushes out the biggest of the fall preemies at a whopping 3.75 lbs.

On the other end of this eight-tentacled umbilical cord is Glamour magazine, which is but a mere breather at a little over half a pound. (Must have been the weightless Mary-Kate spread!) Resident statistician Andrew Krucoff explains this stylish ecological threat after the jump.

This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

We matched weight data with circulation numbers to capture the full scope of this environmental hazard. Calculating the totals (weight times circulation) reveals close to 10 million pounds of blow job tips and Proctor & Gamble health/beauty product ads. Folks, this is worth repeating — 10 MILLION POUNDS — and that's just counting these seven magazines alone. Sounds like there's an elephant in the room, or maybe thousands of them. If Anna Wintour knew she was involved in such a weighty operation, she'd fucking flip.

Audit Bureau of Circulations
Magazine weight data courtesy of the New York Daily News. (We were going weigh the glossies ourselves, but, none too surprisingly, the Gawker Media Lab only has scales that measure in ounces.)