We've received a sickeningly bad RNC party report (keep any and all of 'em coming, please!) from the Bush twins "R — The Party" at Roseland Ballroom. While we were hoping for anecdotes of falling Jennas and tripping Barbaras, we're content to hear that the scene involved some hot old-school dance moves:

It was the LAMEST party i have ever been to. It was a cash bar, they charged for food, and basically just provided a big room with some live music (maybe the bands were famous, but no one i'd ever heard of), but mostly djs. the best part was when they started playing the Electric Slide and everyone ran out to the dance floor. 200 republicans of varying degrees line-dancing - it was like a tacky bat mitzvah gone wrong. Maybe if the wasps and southern baptists had had a little more exposure to that scene, they wouldn't have been so quick to kick off their shoes? (They followed that up with a congo line for hot hot hot. I'm not kidding.) Talk-wise, most people were just exhausted from working all day, and complaining about paying for drinks. On the plus side, I've never been in a room with so many able, affluent people and have been able to say with complete certainty that I was the best dressed person there. (I'm including in that my imagine peace button that i stuck to my purse)
So the verdict: Republicans are not as scary as i thought. They are lame, bad dancers, with no fashion sense who don't know how to throw a good party - kind of comforting, no?

Wait, we're still stuck on the cash bar thing. Evil Republicans!