· Pay tribute to the bands that pay tribute to the bands that helped spawn a generation of obnoxious Williamsburg hipsters tonight at the Knitting Factory, where the Onion hosts Urgh! The War to End all Wars.
· Fake tits and sex addicts. Count us in, John Waters! "A Dirty Shame" premieres today.
· Hip-hop, drum-n-bass, and dance music take center stage at Iron DJ 2004 tonight, a clever take on late night stoner delight Iron Chef. Minus the dubbed-over Japanese people, we re assuming.
· We don t know too many furnaces that aren t fiery or white stuff that s not magic, but both bands rock Bowery Ballroom tonight (that s the Fiery Furnaces and White Magic for those who had trouble with the hipster reading comprehension bit on the SATs).
· Rumor has it that Duck Bar on 505 E. 6th street is closing its doors for good tonight. Go pay em one final booze-addled tribute with NY's most embarrassingly unprofessional iPod DJ crew, the D-List.
· Silly alcoholics, Sundays are for detox! Go watch Tivo and leave the rest of us to our bongs.