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Maybe our invitation to the "Macaulay Culkin might be gay" party got lost in the mail and we're arriving fashionably late, but Popbytes reports that he's been romantically linked to "animal rights activist and television spokesperson" Jeffrey Brunner and isn't denying it. OK, whatever, we blame Chris Columbus, you go Mac, etc etc. We only bring this up because the Popbytes story says Brunner was linked to former MTV mannequin Simon Rex, who, of course, was once involved with Paris Hilton. If there's a chance any of this is true, we have no choice but to recommend that Culkin cut off his penis and avoid further Hilton cross-contamination. He'll thank us later.