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Our hearts went out to Boldface Names stringer Lily Koppel last week when, after a bout of nastiness from I Heart Huckabees director David O. Russell, she was forced to leave a Q&A session on the Columbia campus. This week, however, she's really won us over with her chilling report of a Hemingway Preservation Foundation event at Elaine's in which James Gandolfini gets slightly lecherous with the dainty legger. The concept of a man of Gandolfini's ilk flirting with anyone is disturbing at best, but her account is genius. We won't sleep for weeks but, after penning this gem, we're guessing Lily won't either.

Mr. Gandolfini motions to the Boldface reporter to step aside with him, toward the back of the restaurant near the kitchen. He seems inordinately interested in the boiling pots.

Gandolfini: (Awkwardly, like Tony Soprano asking his shrink on a date) You want to talk about this another time? Just you and me?

BF: (Confused). Huh? (A long pause) Well, you know, I'm here on assignment.

Gandolfini: Think about it.

Mr. Gandolfini returns to the party. The Boldface reporter goes into the bathroom, takes out her notebook, and makes a brief note: Gandolfini appears to be attempting to get into his role a little early.

Old Man And The She: A Play In One Act [NYT]