Somewhere, in a syringe-littered loft in Tribeca, rests four of New York's newest transplants: Jakob Lodwick, Zach Klein, Josh Abramson, and Ricky Van Veen, the filthy minds behind the burgeoning-beyond-control website College Humor. The boys took a minute out of their day of working in their underwear (gee, sounds vaguely familiar) to conduct an intimate IMterview with resident fratboy Andrew Krucoff. After the beloved jump, the boys tell us about blueberry muffins, hallucinogenic drugs, and the art of labeling people.
Krucoff: So Collegehumor.com is a trail littered with beer cans, green buds, and big boobs. How did this journey begin?
Josh: Well, Ricky and I started Collegehumor.com in December of 1999.
Ricky: We were best friends in high school and then went to different colleges.
Jakob: and then Ricky "discovered" me
Krucoff: In a strip club, right?
Jakob: Please, no jokes. I started working on design and programming for the site - really crossing its bridge into the 21st century.
Ricky: It was the height of the dot-com boom. Josh's brother worked for a big internet advertising company.
Jakob: I think we arrived around the time that high-speed in-dorm net access was first ubiquitous.
Josh: We started off by putting flyers over urinals actually, no joke!
Krucoff: That s certainly viral, in a literal nasty way.
Zach: It just snowballed from there. Since college students are online a lot, Collegehumor.com was passed around like wildfire and submissions poured in. Of course, all of this happened in the later end of the dot-com boom, so interest from large advertisers was still accumulating and CollegeHumor quickly became a national brand. A perfectly organic, grass-roots startup.
Krucoff: Right, now the important stuff: Does your website get you laid?
Jakob: It's not like someone sees the site and says "that specific photograph of the dog with puke on it makes you irresistibly sexy." It's more that our involvement in a popular site and company is appealing to women of all shapes and ages.
Krucoff: So what you re saying is that when you buy women drinks with all your crazy Internet cash, that s hot to them.
Ricky: Yeah, apparently girls like money.
Jakob: I think they're more attracted to my ability to manage a database of 50,000 images than anything else.
Zach: We are pied pipers leading a generation of kids obsessed with sophomoric humor. People look up to us, as sad as it seems.
Krucoff: So you guys are ready to use this platform to get tons of NYC ass?
Ricky: We're going to start at the heart of NYC- taxi drivers and hot dog vendors first. Then we'll work on the other professions
Krucoff: Think hot dog in a tailpipe, you'll do well here. Moving on: I've been told Midwest college girls are the biggest sluts of all. Friends, girls no less, describe their years at Ohio State as an "all you can eat buffet line" — which shocks me since my own experience at the U. of Maryland was more like a velvet rope in front of a funeral parlor.
Zach: They are all corn fed. Hardy.
Ricky: That's rad. Let me drop a hot new college vocab word. Blueberry muffin. Noun. A girl who gained 10-15 lbs but still wears the same clothes she did in high school. For an explanation, look at the part of the muffin that flops over the wrapper.
Krucoff: Mental picture snapped, thanks. But these muffin girls are the first ones to say yes to a beer funnel, right?
Jakob: If the beer funnel is filled with chocolate milk, I guess.
Krucoff: So were your own college experiences filled with the usual sex and drugs?
Ricky: One time Jake had two threesomes with four different girls in the same 2 week period.
Jakob: Yeah. I had a lot of sex. Most dudes at Rochester Institute of Technology aren't exactly "dateable" so there wasn't much competition. Also, most people at RIT aren't exactly "into acid" either.
Zach: Like this instance, Ricky's foreplay came in the form of sharing other's sex gossip.
Krucoff: And spiking drinks with hallucinogens?
Zach: no comment.
Jakob: no comment
Ricky: no comment
Josh: no comment
Jakob: next question please.
Krucoff: Okay, that's four no comments and I call one big bullshit. So, you guys were rocking the unsuccessful indie band look pretty hard the other night. Are college campuses rampant with that? Is there any differentiation between frat dudes and the kids who hang out in the food co-op listening to Fugazi?
Ricky: Fugazi? When did you go to school again?
Jakob: The important thing is that we realize that every person has one special label that applies to them. The key to getting through life successfully is to identify that label as soon as possible so that you don't have to do much thinking or listening in your interactions with them.
Ricky: When we label, we enable.
Krucoff: Right, it's hard enough to understand people and their different opinions. Pigeon-holing is so much easier and preferable.
Ricky: Also, if this is going to be on Gawker, can I start a rumor that I saw the Olsen twins in Tribeca snorting Rogaine?
Krucoff: Consider it on Page Six tomorrow.