We hear there's an event going on tonight with a cursed group of men in uniform and something called an A-Rod; it's very confusing to us but it sounds potentially naughty. We suspect, unfortunately, that it's merely a sporting event and not a S&M performance, which is a shame. And we don't "get" these mysterious "sports," so a To-Do for the like-minded not glued to their televisions tonight:

· Do you think you're good looking? Do other people think that you are, in fact, not good looking? Are you a LES hipster/gay/punk/bum/other social stereotype? If so, head to Collective: Unconscious tonight for their 6th annual annual Mr. LES Pageant, and get official validiation.
· Evidently, Spa Week is the new Restaurant Week, only more retarded. Do with this information what you will.
· Did you keep quiet last time Dr. Strangelove came up in a conversation with your friends about "iconic American films?" Did it make you feel all dumb and uncultured? If so, you should either get new friends or actually go see the movie at Film Forum tonight. Probably the former.