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In this edition: Fucked-up celebs at B8 (Luke Wilson, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan), Bush twins, Kate Hudson with Chris Robinson and Kurt Russell, Julianne Moore, Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany, Chloe Sevigny, Nick Stahl, Al Leiter, John Cusack, Avril Lavigne, Pee-Wee Herman, Gabriel Byrne, Sean Lennon, Jamie Oliver, Anouck Lepere, Martha Plimpton, Anderson Cooper, Lizzie Grubman, Q-Tip, Uma Thurman, Martin Short, Fred Armisen, Lil' Kim, Roger Moore, Star Jones and Al Reynolds, Crispin Glover, Olsens, Mary Louise Parker, Frank Whaley, Chris Parnell, Gwen Stefani, Gavin Rossdale, Pamela Anderson, Matt Dillon, Whoopi Goldberg, David Hyde Pierce, Stephen Gan, Talisa Soto, Tony Danza, Jack Black, reality stars, Frederick Weller, Diamanda Galas and David Lauren.

Epic night at the Bunghole this past Saturday......Luke Wilson in a flannel shirt - almost didn't recognize him at first - having a drama with a tall, beautiful black model after Paris Hilton, fucked out of her head, pushed her way through to hang out with him for the rest of the night.....saw her earlier unsurprisingly unable to speak, wearing a tiara, looking unpretty in pink, with her lughead bodyguard strutting right to the front of the bathroom line (gee, imagine that!)....Linsay Lohan was also there with a table full of obnoxious, underage (couldn't have been more than 16) kids, among them a gaggle of young boys who also tried to have Paris's bodyguard help them cut to the front of the bathroom line....props to the bathroom attendant, who was NOT having it.....what's with all the fuss around the bathroom line? I wonder...

Freemans, tuesday night the 16th of nov. the bush twins , along with 2 massive secret service men, tried to have dinner. they were told by the maitre'd that they were full and would be for the next 4 years. upon hearing, the entire restaurant cheered and did a round of shots... it was amazing!!! [Ed: We're hearing that this is actually true.]

Wandered down to Frankie's 457 Court Spuntino for a late brunch on Sunday, talking about how it's become such an unlikely celebrity hang (given that it's deep in the old-school end of Carroll Gardens) when who should we see but cutie-pie Kate Hudson, her cute rocker-boy hubbie [Chris Robinson], and Kurt Russell, drinking coffee and eating frittatas with the rest of the Brooklyn crowd. Kate was busy cuddling her baby and generally looking very normal, except for the high-heeled boots she was wearing. At least she wasn't wearing those godawful Ugg boots from the Saving Helen poster.

Saw Julianne Moore running across Bleecker St this morning at around 11.30am. She was wearing jeans and a tweed jacket and looking like the cover of a fall catalogue.

(11/18) today was celebs and their kids day in the west village. first, i saw julianne moore on greenwich ave and west 13th at 9:30am walking with her son. her hair is fire engine red. later i saw paul bettany and jennifer connelly with their children on west 4th and bank. she is a lot shorter in person than i would imagine.

shared a jet blue flight last night (long beach to jfk) with chloe sevigny. she was travelling with some kevin federline wannabe.

Nick Stahl, 5th Avenue, Park Slope. He was looking in the window of the (closed) real estate office and holding hands with a very normal looking girl with bleached yellow-blond hair. He was wearing a knit cap, jeans and untied combat boots, but still hot nonetheless. It was nice to have a new celeb sighting in the Slope now that Jenny and Paul are such old-hat.

Saw NY Met pitcher Al Leiter eating at Pizzeria Uno's on 86th and 3rd with wife and two young children. He is quite tall and handsome. Very normal looking family enjoying some pizza.

I saw John Cusack walking into the St. Mark s Bookshop while I was going out and he said, BANDAID as I passed him. He looked just like himself (very tall). I only wish he had been his sister, who is obviously AWESOMER.

Avril Lavigne on Grand in SoHo being followed by MTV cameras. Please, not another reality show.

Just saw Pee-Wee Herman of Batman 2 fame [Ed: yeah, that s why he s famous.] walking down 50th street toward 6th avenue. I'm pretty sure he was doing some kind of signing at the FYE on the corner since there was a huge line of people screaming as he walked by. Didn't get a chance to ask him if he'd heard any good jokes lately.

at chloe sevigny's 30th birthday party, Gabriel Byrne sauntering in with that Turturro sister, some unkown blond and another random. They were seated at a table within the small room (only about 50 of us there) that had a velvet rope up around it. Weird. Also there was Sean Lennon, as usual, talking to a bunch of models. Chloe looked amazing in a tiny dress and tan. Good music but the party itself was pretty dull.

Saw Jamie Oliver (a.k.a., "the Naked Chef") strolling into Lever House Restaurant today (11/16/04) with two attractive women accompanying him. (And for the record, he wasn't naked, although he was a little underdressed for Lever House, if you ask me, with his light blue "soccer-jersey" get-up.)

Chris Robinson DJs a folk night at Three of Cups in the East Village. It was filled with chic bohos last week including Kate Hudson who was more attractive in person, sporting glittery eye shadow, a tank top with bra showing, and jeans. It was a power hip crowd, with model Anouck Lepere mingling with Charlotte Gainsbourg (french actor, Serge spawn) with Andy Comer (cutie frontman of the Prosaics).

Sat next to Martha Plimpton yesterday (11/15) on the 2/3 Train during rush hour. She was engrossed in an issue of the New Yorker. Poked her head up so see where we were when we got to 34th street and suddenly bolted from the train, much to the annoyance of the passengers who were already boarding. Must have been an interesting story.

Saw Anderson Cooper walking a large and very well kept spaniel down 40th near Lex. He was wearing a suit with no tie. Unlike most celebs, he didn't look at all annoyed. I think he was happy to be with his doggy. He looks just like he does on tv, Anderson, not the dog.

I was on the same flight with both Q-Tip and Lizzie Grubman yesterday from LAX to Newark on American Airlines. The flight was delayed and before the flight took off Lizzie went in front of me at Burger King. She got a cheeseburger. Q-Tip sat in coach, while Lizzie was in first class. After the flight, my mom, who teaches handicapped students, asked Q-Tip for his autograph and he happily obliged.

Saw Uma Thurman (this is back around Labor Day) in Rhinebeck, NY of all places. She was having drinks (and/or maybe dinner?) at the bar at the restaurant in the Beekman Arms. She was with a guy I didn't recognize. They walked right past our table as we were eating and I was dumbstruck when it hit me who she was because I had pretty much been facing her (from about 20 feet away) for the entire evening and didn't realize it was her (damn contact lenses!). She's VERY tall and was wearing a long flowing skirt and I think a shawl or something.

monday nov/15, spotted martin short walking into 'cesca on w 75 street. he was with a blonde women, that appeared to be his wife, and another couple of approximately the same age. was then seated next to their table, and overheard talk about ''then dave could...then i could...'' as if they were blocking out an appearance on letterman. his freakishly large head [celebrity cliche, i know] makes him look bigger in real life than he does on the screen.

I was walking down 49th street past NBC studios/Rockefellar Center and saw Fred Armisen from Saturday Night Live. I'd recognize his funny-looking face and big glasses anywhere. He made eye contact with me and flirtaciously smiled; I thought he was cute in a geeky sort of way, so I made prolonged eye contact and smiled back. Then I realized he was on SNL and walked away, since last Saturday's show suuuuuuucked.

went to buy a lotto ticket and some smokes before heading to angelica kitchen last evening..who was blocking the door whilst waiting on a friend but chloe sevigny..she had on a gray poncho..i might be wrong but have seen her at some parties in the past..she looked pleasant..actually thought she was sort of really fit at a party last year..maybe that is the scotch talking though.

I saw Lil' Kim in her car outside of the Hit Factory on 54th (btw 9th and 10th ave). She was in her Bentley Coupe with her hair in some Erykah Badu deal honking at pedestrians crossing in front of her car while she was parked. classy. she's so little she must have been sitting on a phone book to see over the wheel.

While going South in a taxi on Park Ave. today (11/17) saw "The Saint" himself (aka the guy who replaced Sean Connery [actually George Lazenby]as OO7) Roger Moore on 50th with his wife waiting for the light to change. I must say he looked like a zombie standing there, "I want your /BRRAAAIINNSSS/ Miss Moneypenny!!"

Saw Star Jones and her Jack Sprattish new husband [Al Reynolds] at the Four Seasons Monday night (like two days after her wedding, right? Shouldn't they be in a room somewhere consummating . . . okay, gross, scratch that thought). She blew into the pool room, he trailed behind. They were with another couple. It didn't look very festive whenever I looked their way, nobody was laughing or toasting or even cracking a smile although they did get a big plate of pink cotton candy for dessert.

Jet Blue flight 222 from Long Beach to JFK Tuesday afternoon, my wife and I sat two rows behind a very stylish-looking and young Crispin Glover, who was traveling alone in wraparound shades.

saw mk and ashley at the 9 pm screening of bridget jones on 19th st. both looked extra homeless.

Last night around 11:30 I was walking up 4th Ave between 10th st. and 11 st. when I saw what appeared to be a green Balenciaga bag floating in mid air. Then I noticed a gremlin like figure attached to it. MARY KATE OLSEN! She had just popped out of a black SUV. Right behind her was a portly looking undergrad. They entered the apt. building mid block. Late night study date, friend from eating disorders support group, is Mary Kate a chubby chaser???? Who knows but they both had Starbucks. That had better be a skim latte!

I saw Mary Louise Parker early this morning looking pretty hot on 55th and 8th, while pushing her son in a stroller (the baby is damn cute). You know, Crudup really fucked up.

frank whaley in a mid-town elevator. looks good, almost exactly the same as he did 10 years ago in the "pulp fiction"/"swimming with sharks" days...resisted urge to berate him for fear he'd give me a paper cut on my tongue.

Just saw Chris Parnell from SNL on the B train heading uptown. He got on at Bway/Laffayette and got off at Rockafeller Center, of course. The whole train ride he was reading emails from "Les" about this weekends show with "L.Wilson" as the host. I'm assuming that means Luke Wilson.

As I was being overserved at the Gwen Stefani record release party, I spotted, of all people, Pamela Anderson with new, Federline-esque boyfriend make a quick entrance and a quicker exit. Also, fittingly, overheard numerous times, Gavin Rossdale (Mr. Gwen Stefani) asking party-goers, "Has anyone seen Gwen?" BTW, she looked happy and amazing.

Saw Dallas "Dally" Winston (aka Matt Dillon) on Wednesday night walking home from work in the Rock Center vicinity. He was talking on his cell and looking a smidgen confused about where he was supposed to be going. Had it been circa 1984 I think I would have been really pumped. I do have to say the years have been kind to him, although he is looking a bit follicle-ly challenged.

I walked by Whoopi Goldberg at the store in SoHo. She left empty-handed while dozens of bargain-hungry women swarmed the racks after sipping a hideously tasting (blue) mystery cocktail given out to shoppers.

At about 9:40 a.m. while on the M104 shooting down Broadway, saw David Hyde Pierce at the corner of 66th and Broadway, west side of the street. Wearing a blue baseball cap low over his brow, but the square patrician chin unmistakable.

Walking home last night, passed by Blue Ribbon Bakery on Downing, when who should scare the bejesus out of me through the window but Stephen Gan [Creative Director of Harper's/Founder/Editor of Visionaire/V Mag] himself. He looked as freakishly as ever, with a grown out 'do... I did a double take thinking something else had caught my eye in the twilight's reflection on the glass, but no... may have been his birthday; he was in the middle of a group of about six and smiling his scary-ass smile. There are so many things in life that I just will never understand...

Spotted Talisa Soto (Mrs. Benjamin Bratt) on line at a food store near Union Square. She looks exactly like she does in photos, tall, beautiful, skinny, hair pulled back, leather jacket and jeans. Hubby Ben and baby were no where in sight. Although I did see him when he was dating Julia Roberts a few years back. We sat right next to them at the movies in Chelsea. Don't remember the movie at all cause I was too busy freaking out at the prospect that I was sitting next to Julia Roberts! She smelled really good, like a fruit medley. Her hair looked kinda stiff and dry though, like it was colored one too many times. Of course she was tall, beautiful, skinny....leather jacket, jeans.....

Went to a party for Gotham magazine last night at Cipriani at 5th and 24th street... saw a bunch of random B-celebrities... started with seeing Tony Danza (who is really quite tiny) and then Jack Black (with blonde hair)... and later it was attack of the reality tv stars... including Nick and Heidi from Apprentice 1, and then John and Jennifer C from Apprentice 2... and the topper of the evening was a very bleached blond Lizzie Grubman.

I Saw Yaya from Americas next top model walking on broadway & Houston street with what appeared to be a tall lanky homosexual. She seemed to be in the middle of one of her Afrocentric rants. She had on a headwrap (duh) and her skin is pretty bad. Since she was exiting from the train station I doubt she wins this season.

I saw Frederick Weller working on his laptop at Dean and Deluca, and then I saw Diamanda Galas walking down 11th Street.

Saw David Lauren (son of Ralph, former editor of "Swing") last night decked out in a yummy gray chalkstripe suit and stunning purple cashmere turtleneck ... and riding the crosstown bus. Am I the only one who views this as a strange juxtaposition? I figured the Lauren family gets shuttled around in chauffeured Range Rovers or vintage Duesenbergs or something. Anyway, he flipped through the new issue of Details (shocking, I know) and got off at 14th & 7th. Oh, btw he's really fucking short, just like Daddy.