Hollywood Trial Of The Century: Mickey Testifies

Apparently taking a break from writing himself a movie in which he gets to have sex with a woman young enough to be his granddaughter, Woody Allen pens a "Shouts & Murmurs" piece imagining what it might sound like if lawyers called Mickey Mouse to the stand to testify in The Hollywood Trial of the Century:

Counsel: So you were aware of a “special relationship” between Mr. Ovitz and Goofy?

Witness: I knew that when Mr. Ovitz was an agent he had courted Goofy, and if I’m not mistaken the two shared a house together in Aspen.

C: Did there come a time when they became closer?

W: Mr. Ovitz stood by Goofy when he was busted in Malibu.

Allen's imaginary lawyer never adequately probes Ovitz's and Goofy's "special relationship," but we've still managed to conjure some very, very disturbing images that will make it impossible to ever watch An X-Tremely Goofy Movie again.