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People send us the darnedest things:

[my roommate has] returned to us after a restful weekend spent sleeping in a cell next to former starlet natasha lyonne. when he asked whether she still worked/how she made cash to buy the horse, she told him, "yeah, i have, like, five movies coming out next year. i'm in Blade Trinity!" he says she's approximately 80 lbs and looks like junkie shit, and that she kept screaming for heroin and promised the guards that they could "party with tara" if they let her out. natasha and [my roommate] got arraigned at the same time and he asked for her number, but alas, she was still too fucked up to register.

Huh, well isn't THAT funny? We're not sure we believe it, so we put on our reporter costumes and decided to investigate this further by calling Natasha's reps. Strange, her listed agent isn't her agent anymore... And her listed publicist? Not her publicist anymore... After being transferred and shuffled to about 3500 different people, we're told to contact someone named Trevor (no last name), who is Natasha's "representation." We're given a cell phone number but when we called, we got Trevor's voicemail message, which wasn't very professional-like. Actually, he sounded kinda scary. We still haven't heard from Trevor, but we suspect that if he does call us back, we might have to give our address and place an order.

In the meantime, what's going on? Does Natasha have any professional representation anymore? Was she in jail? Are people spreading nasty rumors? Is Natasha in the midst of a downward spiral without a PMK pitbull? Someone help! SAVE NATASHA!

UPDATE: Coincidentally, Natasha was arrested on Friday night for crashing a neighbor's apartment, ripping a mirror off the neighbor's wall and threatening their dog. Hmm. But did she go to the big house for a mere chihuahua-beating?