The internets are absolutely ablaze with stories of Ashlee Simpson's appearance at last night's Orange Bowl halftime show (good news, we think the team from the local school where all the rich kids go to start their film careers won!), where Simpson eschewed the dreaded "guide vocal" for producing sounds best described as "the sound a tuberculotic infant would make after three days of being subjected to human rights violations at Abu Ghraib."
Somehow, the rabid college football fans in attendance were displeased with Simpson's naked vocal stylings, showering the now twice-disgraced pop star in a lusty hail of boos. (Video here.) A reader informs us that the message boards on Simpson's website, those hilarious depositories of bile spilled after her SNL disaster, were immediately disabled after the performance, denying TV viewers the opportunity to participate in the mass dumping of haterade they watched unfold.
What's Ashlee's creepy father/rack-ogling manager Joe Simpson's next move? Does he finally shift into damage control mode, shave her head and stash her in an ashram in Tibet until this all blows over? Or does he defiantly book her on the Super Bowl halftime show, where she can appall the broadest possible audience with a performance consisting entirely of panic-jigging and an a cappella rendition of The White Album? We'd go with the Super Bowl plan, but we're just being selfish.