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We step away from the computer for A HALF FREAKING HOUR to finally take a shower, and the world as we know it ends: Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are finally admitting that they've split up. The rumors have been swirling for months, with tales of Pitt finding his way into Angelina Jolie's trailer on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, where the crew supposedly had to run interference every time Aniston came to visit. ("Hey Brad, pull out! Pull out! The Friend has landed!") But their sneaky, sneaky publicist now farts out this announcement late on a Friday afternoon, hoping that it will all blow over by Monday. Well played.

To wrap up another loose end, we've also heard that Plan B, their production company with new Paramount head Brad Grey, will also be dissolved. And why not? Who wants the awkwardness of maintaining a vanity shingle with their ex, risking bumping into them on the weekly trip to the office to pretend to read a script?

If there's one lesson to be taken from this great tragedy of celebrity decoupling, it's this: We are never showering again.