Keith Kelly reports on how the celebrity weeklies (US, People, STAR, Foreign Affairs—wait, what?) scrambled like the proverbial chickenshits with their heads cut-off after Brad and Jen broke up last week. Apparently the Pitt-Anistons weren't considerate enough to announce their separation (or "seperation," as STAR would have it) at the beginning of the news cycle.

Wenner Media's General Manager (and sensitivity trainer) Kent Brownridge spoke for all the mags when he gave this self-effacing though still highly offensive quote:

"For a celebrity weekly, this is our tsunami... I can't think of anything bigger than the king and queen of Hollywood breaking up."

Right. Brad and Jen are so like the tsunami. For instance, whenever we read about either, we begin to cry uncontrollably, think about killing ourselves, and mutter that god does not exist.
It's Blooper Time [NYP]