Lizzie Grubman Reveals Etiquette Secrets Of Media Universe

We were totally aroused when we heard someone referred to as "Big Unit" had arrived in New York; then we realized it was just new Yankee pitcher Randy Johnson and lost interest. But when Randy Johnson reacted like a puss in the face of media attention, we knew he just might be that special sort of new guy who keeps us entertained AND horrified at the same time! Coming to Randy's rescue is the pearl of the PR industry, Lizzie Grubman, who has some advice:

1. Get used to being followed by the paparazzi.
2. The nicer you are to the paparazzi, the quicker they will leave you alone.
3. If you don't want to talk, just smile and walk away.
4. If you don't want to be seen, wear a baseball hat and sunglasses and have a car waiting for you at the door.
5. If you don't want to deal with the press, don't move to New York.

We'd like to add items 6 and 7 to Lizzie's list:

6. Always exfoliate before you get a spray-on tan. It ensures an even application!
7. When running over a crowd of Hampton party-goers, always check your rearview mirror and remember to shout, "Get out of the way!" before "white trash."

For Starters, Big Unit Has Gotta Lighten Up [NYDN]