That 70s Spin-Off: Fez On His Own?

With Topher Grace and Ashton Kutcher bolting That 70s Show for the show's final season, Fox and/or Carsey-Werner might be desperate to wring the series for all it's worth. How desperate are they? There's chatter that Fez might get his own spin-off after strutting his stuff in the goodbye year. Since even a show anchored by a talent like Wilmer Valderrama can't get off the ground without a winning concept, we're going to donate some pitches to the Fox gang:

· Fez opens a diner near the local high school, dispensing brotherly advice and performing close-up magic for the students that hang out there.

· Fez opens his front door, expecting only the morning paper. Instead he finds that his estranged sister has left her newborn son on his doorstep, and quickly discovers that he can hear the baby's thoughts. Also: The baby has a gift for picking horse races.

· Dream casting pipe dream: We visit Fez ten years later, when he's just opened his own gynecology practice. Cameo and series-regular potential as his patients include ex-girlfriends Lindsay Lohan, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Mandy Moore.

· Fez visits the Formans for breakfast and discovers that they've been brutally murdered during a late-night burglary. He hears sirens in the distance, sees that he's covered in Red's blood, and makes a split-second decision to flee the scene. He has just 24 hours to clear his name before the police catch up to him.

· Fez undergoes gender-reassignment surgery and moves to a small town in Ohio, where he must win acceptance from the locals as their new sheriff.

· Fez hastily enters into a green-card marriage with a hilariously mismatched spouse...but it's his wife that needs the green card!