· There goes the gayborhood! A Vogue fashion dept. assistant is responsible for breaking up Jack McCollough and Lazaro Hernandez, the couple behind Proenza and Schouler. Anna Wintour s houseboy (who was dating a male model at the time) started an affair with McCollough, inspiring Hernandez to play wife swap and hook up with the model. Girls will be girls! [Page Six]

· Billionaire Bill Koch is fighting wife Angela Koch for custody of their young son, alleging that she lets him drink margaritas and touch her in inappropriate ways. Let those who haven t boozed with a seven-year-old and let them cop a feel at some point or another cast the first stone. (It s just not a Monday without a molestation joke, is it?) [Page Six]

· Julian Casablancas has wed The Stokes assistant manager, Juliet Joslin. Lucky for Julian, she s 23, making her too old for his father, John Casablancas, founder of Elite Models who used to play Sponge Bob No-Pants with his 15-year-old models before settling down with 17-year-old, Aline Wermelinger. [Gothamist]

· Snoop takes his mind off money, gin, and bitches long enough to give back the children. "My message to kids is stay in school. Definitely got to be an athletic scholar. If you slip up, you don't play. Even took my son out of game because his grades not right."[R&M]

· Would somebody please explain to us this nonsensical exchange between Martina Ms. Fabian Basabe Borgomanero and 9021-ho, Tori Spelling? We went to public school. What's hilarious is that Martina saw something in InStyle magazine with Tori's wedding pictures, so she said, 'Congratulations,' and Tori replied, 'Thank you, I love '80s music!'" [Lowdown]

· We thought it couldn t get more annoying than Conor Obserst. We were wrong. After the press creamed its collective scratch n sniff panties (see earlier post) over Bright Eyes earlier this month, they turned their attention to The Arcade Fire. In the wake of all the media hype over last week s concerts, the band s publicist had to get his triage on when it came to the guest list. If the president of MTV calls, I may have to cut somebody s plus-one. I ll get a writer in, but it s not my responsibility to manage their social life. Silly publicist, writers don t have social lives. [Intelligencer]