Robert Evans: The Kid Stays In The Bed

On Monday, a Sirius satellite radio crew will chase away the straggling hookers, sweep the pill bottles off the comforter, and prop legendary producer/Brett Ratner BFF Robert Evans up in his California king for his show, "In Bed With Robert Evans." Well, maybe they shouldn't get rid of all the pills if they want the superannuated turtle-neck model to keep squeezing out quotes like this:

"I worked with Michael Eisner for 15 years," Evans says. "Is he tough? Yeah. Is he brilliant? Yeah. He took the Mouse that snored and turned it into the Mouse that roared."

Evans fiddled with his gold chain and shifted uncomfortably in his bed before continuing, "Am I spinnin' gold here? You bet. Did I just shit my pajamas? Yeah. No, don't get the housekeeper. I have a special girl in sexy nurse outfit who takes care of the 'oopsies.'"