According to my source, Jennifer has been having a torrid love affair with Mark Wahlberg's first cousin. Wait, I think I said that wrong. It should read: According to my source, Jennifer is having a steamy, hot, lesbian love affair with Mark Wahlberg's first cousin!
It seems Ms. Aniston has a taste for the ladies and is a bit afraid of her adoring public finding out about it, although that hasn't stopped her from getting into the sack behind Brad's back. That may explain why GLAAD has honored her so many times and why she never misses one of her "ladies nights" on the town. Supposedly, the dramatic end to the celebrity couples relationship came about after things between the former Friends star and this mysterious cousin of Marky Mark's got so serious that Brad couldn't take it anymore and wanted to end their relationship.
"I Stole Brad" was a natural for a t-shirt. In the interest of equal opportunity gossip-inspired fashion, what are we going to get out of this rumor? "I Ate Rachel's Box" should be a pretty brisk seller.