Today's readymade movie treatment comes courtesy of The New York Times' Charlie LeDuff, who breaks down the plot of next Christmas' funny, touching buddy flick starring Brad Pitt and (making his big screen debut) the fat dude from Lost. Call it A Heart As Big as The Desert:

This is a sagebrush saga about an Indian chief, a forgotten signature, four aging recluses and a male stripper and his oversize sidekick.

This story shows two things about the new West: American Indians still sometimes lose land to the government through technicalities, and a family's hero no longer rides into town on a white stallion, but in a muscle car.

Daron Cox, the stripper, knows a little something about the law. He plays a cop in an all-male revue off the Vegas Strip. And what he sees here in Pahrump, 45 miles west of Las Vegas, is "a miscarriage of justice," he says. "A modern-day land theft."

Mr. Cox, 33, blew into Pahrump in his muscle car a few months ago, fresh off a divorce, hoping to mend his mind and get a suntan before striking out for Hollywood and a career in the moving pictures.

Okay, this is perhaps the best movie we've never seen, and we haven't even the quoted the part where we meet Eddie Hill, "the dutiful and powerfully built associate... 'I'm going to be his sidekick,' Mr. Hill said. 'Everybody needs a sidekick.'"

Well, maybe not everyone. But, hey, are you listening Hollywood?

A Big Bump on the Road to Riches [NYT]