Defamer Crazy Talk: Pat O'Brien Hiding Out In Rehab? UPDATE

Apparently, Pat O'Brien is just like the rest of us and requires at least a bottle of Wild Turkey to get through an episode of The Insider, as the host has checked into rehab to battle an alcohol problem. O'Brien slipped a written statement announcing his dry vacation to the AP on Sunday and disappeared into the ether. Lest you worry that his absence will cripple the celebrity salad-tossing capabilities of the show, Lara Spencer, a woman we've never heard of, will fill in while O'Brien's away. In a word: Whew.

Now that we've dispensed with the informational part of this post, it's time to indulge in some cynical, borderline-insane speculation. Strap on your tinfoil helmets, grab a handful of tasty crayons, and join us for some Defamer Crazy Talk , will you?

Isn't it weird that O'Brien's taking his little trip just as a series of voicemails that allegedly feature O'Brien (or someone that sounds a lot like him) reciting his most creepily detailed erotic overtures for a female acquaintance (over and over and over again) have been spreading via e-mail? We've heard the voicemails, (and so have many readers, apparently), and let's just say that they feature language that would make the writers of Deadwood suggest that the potty-mouth responsible lay off the f-bombs. But, you know, we don't know for sure that it's O'Brien's voice, despite a little tale circulating with the voicemails about how O'Brien and the lucky lady on the receiving end of his phone naughties met. And even if it were O'Brien, he probably wouldn't go hide in rehab until the whole non-thing blew over. Nah, The Insider wouldn't roll like that. That's just Crazy Talk .

UPDATE: Hyperthryoidic brother site Screenhead has the voicemails for your listening pleasure. Warning: You may swear off sex (or, at the very least, leaving "sexy" voicemails) forever.