Kabbalah Monday: Madonna's Phoning It In

How the mighty have fallen. Back in the day, Madonna would only be caught dead in a nun's habit if she had splashed blood all over the crotch and stapled half a baby doll to it, with some stigmata on her hands for good, if somewhat symbolically suspect, measure. Now she's been reduced to showing up at Kabbalah costume parties in a half-hearted nod to her publicity-mongering roots. Sad. Maybe Guy Ritchie's got an altar boy strapped to an inflatable phallus that looks like the Pope's hat? Please? We desperately need something to believe in.