Dear Kindly Gossip Monkeys,

Thank you for inviting me to Bungalow 8 last night. I know that, as a newspaper slave, you don't have to get up early, whereas I do — and that's my fault, so no harm in texting me after I am fast asleep. I'm a loser for passing out before 2 AM anyhow. But, well, when do I EVER go to Bungalow 8 on a Tuesday night? Or any night, really? Rarely. A girl can only handle so much evil eye from the joint's permatan 'rexis.

I'm sorry to be ungrateful, but now I'm cranky and tired from interrupted sleep cycles due to completely random text messages. I hope you have some fabulous items from your late night with big Disco, making this all worth it.

xoxo,
Jessica

P.S. Oh, so I missed Lloyd Grove's galpal? Shame. Send me a pic.

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