On August 25, 2013, 108 lbs of meat named Miley Cyrus broke into America’s televisions and performed the frightfully perverted and most highly sinful Dance of the Seven Veils. In a rage, 150 U.S. citizens wrote to the Federal Communications Commission to protest the emergence of Cyrus’ butt in so many places it did not belong (on top of singer Robin Thicke; inside a pair of rubber panties; exposed to the humid summer night, etc.).

With the help of a couple Freedom of Information Act requests, Deadspin and The Smoking Gun acquired the full set of feverish complaints. We’ve culled a few of our very favorite lines and present them now as a series of inspirational image macros, perfect for sharing on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Google+, Weibo, Vkontakte, iTunes (?), or even just as paper print-outs you distribute among your colleagues.

We call the collection: "Teen Dream; America's Nightmare."

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(All spelling mistakes preserved from the originals.)

[Deadspin // The Smoking Gun // Images via Getty, AP]

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