Gossip Roundup: Without Pat O'Brien, Entertainment Journalism Worsens

· Paramount Television (home of ET and The Insider), in an act of extreme pervitude, pays $800k for television rights to the footage from Mary Kay Letourneau's wedding to Vili Fualaau, her former elementary school student. And then the world ate its own soul and barfed it up on the banks of the Styx. [Lowdown]
· Jessica Simpson and Johnny Knoxville are totally playing doctor and showing each other their special parts during recess. [Page Six]
· The Hearst posse doesn't seem to know precisely how rich they are, so it's time for lawyers! [R&M]
· With the exception of the always reliable Matt Drudge, Roger Friedman is officially the only person who really cares about Michael Jackson anymore. [Fox 411]