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The Drudge Report, your source for incremental updates in the inappropriate sexual relationships of American Idol judge Paul Adbul, offers a new nugget: contestant Corey Clark claims he can ID a "distinguishing characteristic" on Abdul's body. Given the nature of his allegations, we're going to assume he's talking about the standard stuff: a third (or fourth) nipple, a vestigial tail, or an "Emilio Forever" tattoo in the vicinity of the pubis—but we're going to ignore that and offer our own wild guess (especially since Gawker already whipped out the barber pole joke). Abdul's lower abdomen contains a cassette deck, and when a lover inserts a cassingle of one of her top 40 hits, she spends the next three minutes involuntarily lip-syncing to the sounds of her past like a possessed Teddy Ruxpin. Hey, everyone's idea of foreplay is different. Don't judge.