Robert Evans: Sexiest Blogger On The Huff-Post

We're going to level with you. It's taking us a lot longer than usual to shake out of our week-starting funk. That's right, we had a case of the Mondays (if you press your ear to the monitor, you can almost hear our Care Bears crying). But that's all over now. We poured ourselves a tall, cold glass of Robert Evans' swingin' blog-prose, everything is all better now. Pull a chair up to the waterbed and listen as Evans regales us with a story of his sexy sit-down with porno auteur Andrew Blake, will you?

Luck prevailed however as, by sheer coincidence, I found out that the prima donna was a huge fan of my work…knowing a lot more about my credits than I did of his. Well, it got my foot in the door and his ass at my door.

We had lunch, laughed, philosophied for hours. Our minds both must be sick…as we clicked on every level. Before light turned to darkness, I convinced him to lie on my bed, go head-to-head, toe-to-toe, both of us to extracting from the other what made our creative minds tick.

Lunch turned to dinner and, like two old yentas, we were still on high. It must have been 10 o’clock at night before I walked him to the front door. Laughing, he put his arm on my shoulder, “You’re one seducer, Evans. You broke my virginity. If I ever thought I’d agree to I’d lie on your bed, open my sick head to the world, I’d never have shown.”

As long as we're being honest, we have to admit that we have absolutely no idea where this story wound up. Once we finished in the Kleenex ("head-to-head, toe-to-toe" did the job) we went back to checking e-mail, and Funshine Bear still can't look us in the eye.