Looking At The Look Book

No, this week's edition of New York magazine's Look Book has not been brought to you by the Brooklyn Council For Adult Undergarments. It has, however, been brought to you by the Hipster Association For The Advancement Of Lisa Jo, an artist who's hunting for a new place in Greenpoint. Now, now, you totally want to make fun of Lisa but, the truth is, she knows damn well that her waist and navel are the same thing — and you have to respect her for that clarity. After the jump, Intern Alexis rounds up panelists Guy Cimbalo, Jessica Grose, and Matthew Schneider play Dress Me Up L-Jo.

Guy Cimbalo, Infotainment Division, Low Culture

Lisa Jo clearly enjoys her diaper shorts. Is incontinence bliss?

Let me turn to my buddies here in the WFOG Shock Jock Radio booth. Guys, what do you think of this chick's diaper shorts? No, no, you first, Robbie, you're the regular contributor to Us Weekly's Fashion Police segment...give us one of your quips. Come on, Robbie, something about "hot Asian girls" or "grandmothers at the old folks home"...please? Please? A pun on how "dependable" Lisa Jo is, then? Come on, work with me here, you reticent bastard.

2. Where in NYC should Lisa Jo live, if not Greenpoint?

No self-respecting artist would live in NYC anymore. Warhol's Factory shut down a long time ago, darling. The Dia Center for the Arts recently moved an hour away on the Metro North line to some obscure town called Beacon. And Damien Hirst doesn't even do sculpture anymore! And he's British! And, God, I really went off track there.

Despite really, really wanting to hate on Lisa, we find her oddly endearing! Why do you think that is?

See, when you were three years old, and your father plopped you down in front of the set so he could make out with your mum. "Steamboat Willie" was emanating from the tube. Overhearing your parents' coupling like that, while Mickey Mouse cheerfully bounced around onscreen in his fantastic red shorts, which were hiked up oh-so-high on his black-and-white frame...that moment, there, was your last moment of childhood happiness. Your propensity for things of an endearing nature comes at a severe price, yeah?

If this is Lisa's looking "more serious," what's it like when Lisa looks less serious?

Well, what does an artist wear when she parties? In deference to Vanessa Beecroft's "Book of Food," here's a snippet from Lisa Jo's 2004 New Year's Eve entry in her very own Book of Fashion:

"1. A blender as chapeau, the glass canister forming a crown atop my head.
2. Suspenders. The ones with little hexagonal patterns.
3. Overalls, cut off at the waist, such that the topmost portion hangs languidly from my upper torso.
4. Men's slacks (used).
5. Colored Saran Wrap in lieu of stockings.
6. Pumas."


Jessica Grose, Spin.com cabana girl

Lisa Jo clearly enjoys her diaper shorts. Is incontinence bliss?

There is no better accessory than a colostomy bag. Lisa Jo clearly knows this, and the Depends-style shorts are the first step on her way to said bag of poo. Perhaps she could decorate it with deliberately placed rips and tears, like the Olsen twins tights.

Where in NYC should Lisa Jo live, if not Greenpoint?

Anyplace where the tiny buffalo roam free, so that she can film them in their tiny natural habitat. I d have to go with Fort Greene as the place most likely to have midget buffalo, because it has Fort in its name.

Despite really, really wanting to hate on Lisa, we find her oddly endearing! Why do you think that is?

It's hard to make fun of people who can't hold their own pee. Also, making fun of someone named Lisa Jo is like shooting fish in a barrel. She s so naive it s adorable, like she s never seen monkeys doing it.

If this is Lisa's looking "more serious," what's it like when Lisa looks less serious?

Two words: footy pajamas.


Matthew Schneier, Unofficial Gawker whore and Look Book champion

Lisa Jo clearly enjoys her diaper shorts. Is incontinence bliss?

Absolutely. After all, April showers bring May flowers.

Where in NYC should Lisa Jo live, if not Greenpoint?

Lisa Jo is an artist, and as such, on the cutting edge of new trends. Greenpoint has totally been done by, like, moms and stuff: that will definitely not feed her art. Instead, she should opt for an edgier abode, like under a pedestrian bridge, or in a hotel elevator, or the Apple Store. Now the only question is, where will she plug in her hair dryer?

Despite really, really wanting to hate on Lisa, we find her oddly endearing! Why do you think that is?

What's to hate? Lisa is just a kid in the big city like the rest of us. She's getting screwed by her brokers (I'm looking at you, Doug Elliman), her art is super-difficult and draining (I'm looking at you, snarling Pearl Paint bitch who said acrylics were over—THEY'RE NEVER FUCKING OVER), plus there's all this sexism and you can't even get a decent enchilada in this town. No, you can't hate Lisa Jo: she's the Everywoman.

If this is Lisa's looking "more serious," what's it like when Lisa looks less serious?

This is definitely Lisa's boardroom look—she's wearing pantyhose! For a less serious look, Lisa dresses down in an old rag and some rubber cement. On date night, it's a baseball cap and boxer shorts. And, of course, when she and the girls hit Cain, they wear the club standard: two condoms and some saline contact lens solution. No rub.