Defamer Real Estate: Misrepresenting A Hole

The Defamer Special Real Estate Correspondent again offers up a virtual tour in response to the C-list section of the LAT's "Hot Property" column, which this week features the decidedly un-rock "Sunset Strip" abode of former Hole/Drew Barrymore's Rising Boyfriend Force member Erik Erlandson:

"Where Drew had her Hole filled, or her fill of Hole"
First, I've got to rant about "truth in advertising" when it comes to real estate gossip. Does the Times just accept the realtor celebrity PR spin without even looking in the MLS, or Mapquest? As reported, Eric Erlandson, the guitar player from Hole, and Drew Barrymore's ex, listed his "Sunset Strip area home" for nearly $1.2 million dollars. Sunset Strip? Evocative words: conjures up images of the sexy Hollywood Hills. With the clubs below, the bright lights, flashy cars. Well, this house is nowhere near Sunset Plaza other Whiskey a go go.
Nor, even stretching, is it near Hollywood Proper, Los Feliz, hip Silverlake, or even Sunset Blvd. At all. It's in the Valley. Yes, technically, it's that tiny piece of Studio City where you still get a 323 phone prefix, but the Valley for sure. Its on a quiet cul de sac, past Barham Blvd., above a strip mall on the corner and across the 101 freeway from the ultimate Valley destination: Universal CityWalk. The temperature gauge on the whip said it was 99 degrees outside when I got there, just in case I wasn't sure we were in the SFV. Next, who is this guy? I've been in lots of "rock star" houses. On their way up, on their way down, broke, new money, long-term flush and this wasn't like any of them. Far from swank. No high-end appliances with the Crystal on display. No sex hot tub, no guitar collections, no dark art, no gold records. Nor was it the other side, Silver Lake heroin chic. No burned carpets from nodding out with a lit smoke, no windows painted black, no needles on the floor. It was like your Grandmother's house in Encino or Sherman Oaks. Neat, clean. Berber carpet, laminate oak flooring. Two bedrooms and a den, Home Depot level new appliances. Devoid of any personality. An odd style-less mix of split level contemporary and English Country. And the oddest part: meandering manicured grounds, a man-made brook, a gazebo with a "love swing." I tried to picture Drew and Eric in the swing. Holding hands, or helping each other tie-off. Couldn't do it. Oh, and the kicker: a developer is building three new homes next door. Maybe Eric's moving because, regardless of what the house looks like, no rock star wants to be up at 7 AM as the workers start pounding nails and yelling at each other.