On Monday, we linked to cockeyed.com's list of anticipated terror attacks. As they put it, "The report from the 911 Commission cited a 'lack of imagination' as a reason that the World Trade Center hijackattack was not averted." Eager to help, we presented a few possibilities they may have missed yesterday.
But still, is that enough? No, it is not. In order to combat the terrorists, you have to think like a terrorist. Therefore, because the price of liberty is eternal vigilance, we give you:
The Terrorist's Guide to New York
Welcome to New York, Islamo-fascist, Chechen/Northern Irish/Basque/Quebequois Separatist, or (most likely) batshit crazy far-right militia nut! New York is a friendly town — the world's second home, you know — but it can be daunting, especially if you've been living in a remote cabin or under an oppressive occupying power for a while. Don't be embarrassed; even residents sometimes have a little trouble finding their way around! In order to make your stay as effective as possible, we've come up with a quick list of potential targets, with maps, photos, and directions for the extremist on the go. All you have to do is instill enough fear to cripple your personal chimerical bogeyman, be it the Great Satan, the financial center of the Zionist conspiracy, the UN, or just radical Secularists intent on banning/flushing your religious book of choice.
4 TIMES SQUARE (Broadway btwn 42nd and 43rd)
BOMB LOWER FLOORS TO TAKE OUT CONDE NAST, CRIPPLE AMERICAN SUPPLY OF GENERAL INTEREST MAGAZINES
(special heads up to our far right friends — the Times is just up the block on 43rd Street, hit 'em both while you're in the neighborhood)
The rest, after the jump!
390 Park Ave, New York, NY 10022
BY SUBWAY: E V 4 6 to 51 St / Lexington Ave
and walk one block west and two block north
18 9th Ave (at 13th St.)
Save your political violence for Monday and it'll coincide nicely with Memorial Day barbecues.
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