Ground Zero Redevelopment Update: Just Let the Men In Fashionable Glasses Take Care Of It

Ground Zero may be totally over, but with reelection campaigns and political careers riding on it, it won't go away. Paul Goldberger weighed in with his plans for the site in the New Yorker, calling for more apartments for corrupt Giuliani associates. But will they have the same romantic End of the Affair aura now that the rubble is no longer smoking?

It's become clear that due to security concerns and financial troubles, the original plans for the site will no longer suffice. Current revised plans for the site were obtained by Gawker operatives close to the Governor late last weekend. The de-ambitioned vision, after the jump:

-The world's tallest flagpole, to be sat upon by an acrobat in an Uncle Sam costume at all times.
-A series of 112 office buildings, to remain tenant-free as a memorial to all the business lost due to terorrism.
-The "Freedom Tower" has been revised yet again. Now, the left side is designed by Daniel Libeskind, the right by David Childs, and the interior by Mrs. Johnson's 3rd-grade class of P.S. 234.
-Donald Trump is contributing a three mile-high cardboard model of the original twin towers.
-Underneath the site, the Jets will have a vast underground stadium, with the slurry wall acting as a makeshift goalpost.
-Larry Silverstein pinky-swears to make it terrorist-proof. Also, if we promise to keep the Port Authority in charge, New York will get ten Super Bowls and everyone will have high-paying cable news jobs. -AP

A New Beginning [New Yorker]