I'm not sure why, particularly at this godforsaken morning hour, I feel compelled to tell you this — but I am certain that at least four of you care, and so I will dutifully report:
Lindsay Lohan was in a car accident last night. Because there is a God, the multitalented starlet walked away relatively unscathed. Lohan's vehicle was was struck by members of the paparazzi, who were allegedly following the poor girl during a high-speed chase through a tunnel at the Pont de L'Alma bridge. At least some of the photographers took pictures before help arrived, French radio said, adding that one of the photographers was beaten at the scene by outraged witnesses.