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In this edition: Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger, Monica Lewinsky, Dr. Ruth, Martha Stewart, Lindsay Lohan, Scarlett Johansson, Bjork, Benicio del Toro, Nicole Kidman, Bjork, Jessica Alba, Amanda Bynes, Lorne Michaels, Gwyneth Paltrow, Chris Martin, Ashley Olsen, Lauren Hutton, Keanue Reeves, Alannis Morisette, Rufus Wainright, Dennis Miller, Juliette Lewis, Ellen Pompeo, Daryl Hannah, John C. Reilly, Kevin Bacon, Kyra Sedgewick, Kieran Culkin, Rose McGowan, Michael Imperioli, Nicole Richie, Gabriel Byrne, Emmy Rossum, Ivanka Trump, Roger Daltrey, Matt Dillon, Isaac Mizrahi, Albert Hammond Jr., Hulk Hogan, Patrick Swayze, Geoffrey Ross, and John Mahoney.

Monday, 5/30 on Smith St in Brooklyn - Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger outside Rite Aid. She is pregnant - very very tiny, but pregnant. Later that night saw Heath alone, fumbling with his skateboard, on the cell proclaiming no idea how to get home and that he had no money.


While waiting for a table outside Paris Commune on Sunday witnessed Monica Lewinsky exiting with girlfriend loudly exclaiming how furious she was at having to wait almost an hour for her omelet to be served. Couldn't help noticing that she probably isn't used to waiting to be fed. By the way, I also waited an hour for my eggs. No celebrity ass-kissing there!

saw Dr. Ruth at Caf Gray last nite with a gaggle of annoying people. We learned later she just published a new book on sex after fifty (age, not number of partners!) so im guessing they were all from her publishing house. She s olsen-like small, just as tall sitting in her chair as she is standing up. Anyway, she ran over to the table next to hers and gave out 2 signed copies to the older women sitting there only 999,998 copies to go.


I'd just purchased a sweet new guitar and was walking westward on 47th Street There was also a line of people holding small dogs waiting outside a club...suddenly the door of this big SUV opened and out popped Martha Stewart with a rather fluffy chow in tow. I asked the people at the front of the line if I could keep walking down the sidewalk (since they were filming and I was headed towards the camera and Martha), and they said I could, so I did. As I was walking Martha was headed right towards me — her doggie sniffed my guitar case. I didn't look her in the eye as I was afraid of catching the evil. She was wearing a pantsuit so I couldn't see her lowjack.

Sunday night, 5/22 12:30AM Lindsay Lohan and posse about to enter the Spotted Pig. LL was wearing some bad 80s getup (jeans tucked into cowboy-ish boots, some sort of Member-Only windbreaker, you get the drift). I cannot believe that girl isn t even 21. Seriously, her face was shot to hell and that no amount of botox/chemical peel down the road could fix. Seeing her makes me so grateful for having normal parents to guide me through those turbulent teen years.

Saturday, May 21 saw Scarlett Johansson walking around the Bedford Barrow Commerce street fair. She was in jeans, a blazer, aviators and had her hair in a ponytail. Could have been any girl in New York. That's probably what she wanted. Then Tuesday, May 24 saw Joshua Jackson walking south on 2nd Avenue (near St. Mark's Place) with a girl who looked surprisingly frumpy. Have no idea who she was: girlfriend, sister, cousin...

Sunday night 5/29 Was having dinner at Blue Ribbon Bakery in the West Village around 7 pm and spotted Bjork through the window, walking down Bedford St. with a man carrying a little kid (her son?) on his shoulders. She was wearing an extremely fugly brown sweatshirt with spangles on it. About 3 hours later, sitting on a stoop with my date on Prince between Mulberry and Lafayette, a group of people started walking toward us, led by Benicio del Toro, sans that nappy greasy hair thank god, looking slimmed down and beautiful and pulling off a trucker hat. He looked right at us, and just as I leaned over to whisper, I was shocked to see Nicole Kidman a few steps behind him. She looked cute and youthful, hair up high in a wispy ponytail, wearing 3/4 length jeans and talking on her cellphone. Nothing like the towering string bean with Satan eyebrows as she appears in photos. They were with about 5 others and they turned right onto Mulberry. A minute later a middle-aged woman in a small group across the street was shrieking orgasmically, "I just made EYE CONTACT with Benicio del Toro AND Russell Crowe. Ahhhhhh!" (I was plenty distracted and didn't see Russell, but he could very well have been with them).

Last week I saw Jessica Alba with a large entourage at Schiller's Liquor Bar on Rivington. She's about one foot four and probably has to shop at Baby Gap and Stride Rite. She's also the only person in the city who still wears a trucker hat. Perhaps she was trying to shield her oh so famous face from the masses, but the ridiculousness of said trucker hat only drew her more attention.

Wandered to the No Malice Palace on 3rd and B, where an underage Amanda Bynes pulled out her fake ID right behind us. She may weigh only 85 pounds, but at least 60 of them are in her giant moon face. Apparently when you stop eating your head doesn't shrink with the rest of your body. She looked like a meatball attached to a string of spaghetti.

eating at Coco Pazzo (e74th) monday 5/23, lo and behold as we're seated to dinner, who is sitting at the next table over .. lorne michaels ... immaculately groomed, talking shop with a couple other gentlemen .. hopefully discussing how to make SNL not suck so bad next season.

saw Ms. Gwyneth Paltrow with hubby [Chris Martin]last night at "Broadway Barks" at a charity auction, hosted at The Supper Club by Beneful (The Dog Food) and Broadway Cares/Equity Fights Aids.

5/25 Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin escaped into a black SUV with heavily tinted windows and sped off down Bank Street. (The word on the street was that they moved out of their townhouse today.)

Last night (5/24) my roommate and I went to Jared Leto's show at the Mercury Lounge. Right when we were feeling totally lame for trying to relive our Jordan Catalano teenage fantasies, who walks in but Ashley Olsen and all her bodyguards. Ashley Olsen and Jared Leto in the same room - sensory overload...

I saw model and spokersperson for Hormone Replacement Therapy Lauren Hutton on Spring and Thompson. Goddamn, she looks old. I mean, she looks great, but goddamn does she look old. I kept on staring at her gap-tooth; it is mesmerizing. She was wearing nothing of note. Something baggy. Her tits or ass weren't hanging out—she's classy like that.

Was having an early dinner at Pastis with my sister last night (Sunday 5/29) when I spotted Keanu Reeves along with his new blonde girlfriend and either his mother or hers. They approached the hostess and promptly turned around and walked out. We assumed they didn't want to wait the 45 minutes we had to wait but around thirty minutes later they returned and were escorted to a table in the back. She seemed far more interested in him than he did her.

Alanis Morrisette came into the NY Open Center (83 Spring) the other day (5/24?) with a female friend. She checked out a bunch of books but left with only a handful of sandalwood incense. Dressed totally down and no make-up. No one recognized her until she was walking out. We all thought they were two pre-teens shopping while mom & dad finished lunch at Balthazar.

saw Rufus Wainwright amidst a crowd of uniformed military types on e. 4th street last night. it's fleet week . . . heyyyy sailor.

Friday night (5/27) around 8pm I was eating dinner with a few friends at Jerry's Restaurant on Prince St. Dennis Miller and an older looking thin asian woman with glasses and ridiculously long hair got up to leave. They were shmoozing with one of the guys who works at the restaurant. He looks way better on television. I guess makeup helps anyone, especially an old disgruntled consrevative like him.

saw a disheveled Juliette Lewis on Saturday 5/28 at the Starbucks on 9th Ave & 15th Street. Nothing too noticeable about her other than the sore on her upper lip - first Katie Holmes, now Juliette Lewis - is it transmitted via some Scientologist virus?

sightings on West 4th Street today (5/25). First I saw Ellen Pompeo from Grey's Anatomy strolling by- as others here have said, she is very, very tiny. She seemed friendly. Next, Maura Tierney from ER came by looking awful- tired and haggard. A few minutes later, Kristen Johnston (3rd Rock) walked by talking to Oliver Platt.

La Bottega on Tuesday night (5/24), Daryl Hannah and John C. Reilly dining with a whole bunch of people at a long table otherwise filled with unrecognizables. Daryl, who was luminous, chowed down on a plate of spaghetti. Guess all that horse-riding really burns off the carbs. John C. Reilly looked like a nice fella.

Was on the corner of 89th and Central Park West today when I saw Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick standing in front of what I assume is their building. He was wearing sunglasses and uber-tight jeans and a black leather jacket; she was cute, short, and looked a bit like a poodle. They made out for about 10 seconds before she got into a taxi and he went walking his dog up the street, alongside the park.

i'm glad the macauley's still count: was waiting in front of jivamukti on bleeker and saw little bro Kieran Culkin blow by me looking cute but highly ignorable and oddly holding onto a pair of shoes and nothing else. but no he was not barefoot and mad, he was properly shod. (btw still has the cute long hair from his wannabe-catcher-in-the-rye movie...)

Rose McGowan and some civilian dude (possibly a writer — he was looking to buy a 4 million dollar townhouse in the West Village, so he certainly wasn't a line cook) were seated next to me at Nobu Next Door on Wednesday. I didn't recognize her at first - all I saw was her perfect chest in the perfect chest-baring long sleeve knit shirt. My boyfriend told me who it was (he was seated across from her and had the better view). She's a lot thinner in person than I thought she'd be, but very beautiful and the requisite perfect skin. She ordered, like, nothing, ate less, and only drank half her glass of wine. I had two martinis in the meantime... Nicole Richie walked in toward the end of my meal and came to the McGowan table, "Rose!" "Nick!" They hugged. It was sweet. Nicole was so thin. Even my boyfriend, who shuns most curves, said she looked too small. It was kind of icky. Pretty face, though.

5/24 I was in the Village at Arthur's Place or something and saw Michael Imperioli hanging out, drinking Heineken, script in hand, hitting on women, enjoying a band. He was with another man, taller, who said his name was "Nick." Nick said he was an actor and also had a script. Michael was buying the beers and appeared to be tipping the bartender well. The band was playing old cover songs (Creedence, etc). This was Tuesday night around 11pm.

Gabriel Byrne was just here (2pm, 5/27) and it took us an hour to remember his name. Nice, but not much of an impression. We needed to turn to Imdb for his last movie.

saw emmy rossum (phanton of the opera) walking down 57th near madison yesterday (5/24) at around 6 PM. noticed a tiny girl walking towards me with a shopping bag so large she had to put it over he shoulder. she probabl y saw that i knew who she was because as soon as she got near me she put her hood on, so as to say "please dont talk to me, i know you know im famous". i will say her skin was unbelievable and she was tiny and rosy and i wanted to sqeeze her cheeks.

Ivanka Trump, walking westward on 59th St bet. Lex/Park, in front of the Williams Sonoma/Pottery Barn domestic goods empire, this past Monday, approx. 5:06 p.m. Her tone sounded smug, which was what got me to look up as I passed her. She's refreshingly pretty in person. I was surprised that a handbag was absent from her get-up. I thought all the rich girls carry mammoth and outrageously expensive handbags. I mean, krist, I take home $26K after taxes and was lugging a $400 one myself that day. Even if my beau got it for me. Still. Anyway the lack of handbag was hot. It lent her a certain butchiness uncommon to girls of her socioeconomic status. If I was gay I'd do her.

Spotted a very animated Roger Daltrey having a conversation with a man on the sidewalk in front of the Gucci store on 5th Ave around 6pm Thursday (5/26). Still looking really buff.

Saw Matt Dillon outside of Rao's in East Harlem on Thursday night...he was chatting with some /very/ mafioso looking types: one of the guys was wearing a maroon velour track suit. Does he have some kind of Family connections or something?

Isaac Mizrahi was seated two tables behind me for lunch at Japonica yesterday (5/24). He totally busted me as I turned to gawk when my friend pointed him out.

I sat right next to Albert Hammond Jr. and his fiance, Cat Pierce at a cozy restaurant on Clinton 2 nights ago. They looked very much in love and were discussing wedding plans! Albert kept saying, "let's just do it now" and Cat would smile. I couldn't get all the juicy details cuz i didn't want it to be obvious that i was listening in,but they looked excited about it. Another Stroke bites the dust! Sooo cute!

Walked past 80's flashback Hulk Hogan getting into a car in front of the Bryant Park Hotel. Skin tight yellow t-shirt, very very tan, blindingly white handlebar mustache, the requisite bandana. Really really big and tall. Everyone was staring. Have no idea whether this man still "wrestles" or not.

I saw Patrick Swayze in the lobby of the Reuters building. He is short, aged and perma-tanned. But not altogether unattractive, I'd have to say.

Saturday May 28: Comedian Geoffrey Ross walking by himself on Ludlow around midnight. Since he was by himself and seemed shifty, I assumed he was looking for some anonymous sailor butt sex.

I saw John Mahoney (he plays Frasier's dad Martin Crane) on Ashland Avenue in Chicago on Tuesday night, across the street from the Raven Theater, wearing a black v-neck sweater, standing at a bus stop with a young man, probably waiting for a cab. I wasn't sure it was him until he laughed—the way he throws his head back is very distinctive.