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We were game to give up three to five minutes of our busy day (we gotta do something while the spoon is heating up) to read the heartwarming tale of comedian George Lopez's failed kidney and the wife who selflessly sacrificed one of her own so that The George Lopez Show could go on entertaining no one we've ever met. But then:

The first thing comedian George Lopez says about the new kidney his wife, Ann, gave him in April, is what you'd expect from a funnyman: a joke.

"This is a Chicano's worst nightmare," he quips in the voice of his cynical stand-up character, the hard-boiled barrio bad guy. "Something that makes you owe your wife — forever!"

Yeah, we stopped reading right there. Good luck with the dialysis!